Don't Stop | Michael Clifford

Chapter 84

"So how long will we be gone for you think?" I ask, looking up at him. It seems like his face changes a bit, but it's gone as fast as it came, so I'm thinking it might just be my imagination.

"Uhmm, I don't know, I'm thinking a month or two would be appropriate," he tells me. "I mean, a roadtrip is where you're only one play a day or two or something, so it wouldn't take all that long." I smile, nodding.

"Yeah, probably," I say, taking a sip fromt he bottle of water I had on the table. "Can we figure all of this out later, maybe? I'm actually supposed to go hang out with Maddie for a few hours."

"Yeah, sure," he says, giving me a smile. "I was thinking of going back to my place anyways to see Calum and Ashton... Calum and I sort of have some unfinished business."

"What happened?"

"I'm talking about Call of Duty," he laughs, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later, alright?" I just nod, Michael not taking that long before he's gone. I'm about to make something out of myself, but I figured that Maddie wouldn't give a fuck whether I had makeup on, if I was wearing jean or sweatpants.

So, no big surprise, I just walk out with my hair in a messy bun, sweatpants on, and Michael's hoodie before I make my way out to my car.

.

"You're so cute, yes you are, yes you are," I say, holding up Phoenix, making weird faces at him. Maddie was out making us some sandwiches. "So, where's Luke?" I ask, lying Phoenix on my lap as I look over at the way Maddie went.

"Oh he went to their place," she says as she comes on. "You know, discussing whatever needs to be discussed." She places the plates down, then taking Phoenix to place him down in a crip. Next to it, laid Sammy. "About touring."

"Yeah, I mean, they have to get back some time. Not looking forward to it that much though, gonna miss Mikey so much," I say, sighing a bit.

"Yeah, you're going to be okay?" I look at her shrugging.

"Yeah, I mean I'll be okay. What about you, Luke is literally gone, leaving you alone with Phoenix." Maddie looks a bit confused at me for a few seconds, before opening her mouth again.

"I'm going with them, El. I'm surprised Michael didn't tell you," she says, making me look at her. We just sit there for a little while, in complete silence. "Wait," she says, pointing a little bit, not really at anything. "Do you even know that they're going back on tour?" I sit there, staring at her.

"As in, is the date official? Or eventually?"

"June. The tour starts in June, they're talking tour dates and places right now," she says, confused. Probably not as much as I am. I had no fucking clue that they were going back on tour in just a few months.

"When did this become official?" Maddie shuts up a bit, biting her lip. "Maddie, when did this become fucking official?" I say, sounding pissed.

"Almost two, almost three weeks ago." I groan, hiding my face in my hands as I shake my head.

"I can't believe this, he hasn't fucking told me anything. One or two days is okay, but three fucking weeks?" I shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest. "Let's... just talk about something else, okay? I need to talk about this with Michael." Maddie just nods, letting a silence come over us as we eat our food. "Anyways, what did your work say about you going on tour?"

"They didn't," Maddie says. "I actually... well, I went down there to quit, even though I am still on maternity leave, but... I didn't get to. I love my job, so how could I possibly just quit like that? They've been so understanding of everything I've gone through."

"I know how you feel... I mean, I feel so weird for being unemployed for an amount of time that I don't even know, and I know that I won't be able just to quit like that." She sighs, looking back at the crib where Phoenix was laying.

"But I don't know if I would want to as much when the time comes. I mean, with Luke on tour, I would want to be with Philip, but..." She sighs, taking a hand through her hair. "I guess I'll have to figure it out as it comes."

.

I was sitting on my couch, petting Boomer when the door opened. I had been sitting here for about 45 minutes, waiting for Michael to come. Now he did, coming in with a goofy smile on his face. "Hey," he says, still smiling when he realizes I am not smiling nor greeting him back. "You okay?" I lean back, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"When were you going to tell you about the new tour?" I just simply ask, watching as Michael's face changes and he realizes that I know.

"Babe-"

"Don't you fucking babe me right now," I say through gritted teeth. "Three weeks Michael, three weeks you've known of this, and I had to find out about it from Maddie? You're supposed to tell me these things as soon as you know."

"I know, but... I just..." I wait to hear what he has to say, and I know it's because he can't put words to it, but that just kind of pisses me off evenmore.

"You just, bla bla bla, it's no fucking excuse."

"I just needed the right moment to tell you," he says, taking a step closer, me now also standing up as I take a step away.

"Oh, you've had plenty of moments to tell me. Were you just going to let me know along with the rest of the fucking world? I mean, because I could've just waited till I got spammed on social media by your fans asking me what I would be doing while you're on tour," I ramble, crossing my arms over my chest. "You cannot fucking keep these things from me."

"I know, but... this whole things with your work, I didn't want to make it worse-"

"I'd rather you give me all the fucking crap at once and let me cry about it, but I'd rather fucking know than just "hey by the way, next week I'm leaving for a fucking tour"," I say, taking a hand through my hair. "What about the road trip, huh?"

"I was going to make sure it would end before the tour. I just thought we could do something like that before I went on tour," he says, trying to step closer to touch me, while I just walk away, always making sure that the coffee table was between us.

"I don't care!" I say, my voice really raising this time, Boomer letting out a bark.

"I know I fucked up with this, but I didn't mean to," he says, his voice raising as well.

"You cannot live inside your fucking head all the time Michael, I need you to share these things with me, because believe it or not, this has something to do with me too!"

"I know!" he yells, Boomer now continuing to bark as Michael and I are yelling at each other. My head is hurting because I am trying not to tear up and show any sign of weakness. I know if I do, I will break. "Believe me, I know, and I screwed up, and I should've told you, and I know, I know, I know! But I did what I shouldn't have done, I did, and there's nothing I can do about it now," he says, stepping closer, while I walk away again. He does get close enough for his hand to almost touch my arm, before I slap it away.

"Don't touch me right now," I say, making him stop his movement as I just step away. "Just... go. Just go, I can't right now. Just fucking leave, alright?" I just stand there, staring at him as he is looking at me, but doesn't move. "This is my place, you have your own, so if I tell you to fuck off, you better do so, okay?" I barely hear Boomer barking anymore, but it's ringing in my ears as I am looking at Michael. He eventually looks down, before turning on his heels. The door opens, soon followed by it shutting rather hard again. I then feel the tears whelm up, me sitting down on the floor where Boomer now comes over, whimpering a bit. I just pull him closer, hugging him tightly. I'm just glad he can feel that I need it as it feels like he hugs me back.