881. Instead of my car saying stupid things like "your door is ajar," it should say helpful things like, "there's a trooper hiding in the bushes."
882. Ghost hunters: Can you communicate with us?
*door creeks*
Ghost hunters: Oh so your name is William...
883. I'm not fat. My stomach is 3D.
884. Hey homeless guy, quick tip: don't panhandle outside the 99 Cent Store, we're not that far from you.
885. Whenever I hand someone my camera to take a picture, they act like I'm asking them to pilot an alien spaceship. JUST PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON!
886. Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
887. When I was younger, $20 felt like $1000...now it feels like $1.
888. Friends knock on your door. Best friends walk into your house and start eating.
889. 7 minutes of extra sleep in the morning seriously does matter.
890. What if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again.
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HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
