271. True love is when you buy the hard copy of an album even though you’ve already illegally downloaded it.
272. Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
273. IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, come sit by me and we can make fun of people together.
274. I procrastinate so much I procrastinate the actual procrastination.
275. I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.
276. I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘screw everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities.
277. Teachers call it “going to the bathroom” We call it “I’m bored. I’m leaving.”
278. Do you ever just rub your eyes so hard that you just start entering some other crazy galaxy of swirls and patterns?
279. Look, I know you have your “swag on” but can you walk a little bit faster?
280. Please don’t ever speak again. You are essentially an oxygen thief.
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