71. When icons bounce up & down on my Mac toolbar demanding attention, I want to whack them. Just like in that the mole game.
72. There’s always that one jerk in the gym who thinks he’s competing in the friggin’ Olympics.
73. Whenever I accidentally push a “pull” door, I keep pushing until the hinges snap and act like that was my plan the whole time.
74. The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to “watch a movie” is actually watching a movie.
75. Two tips for faster jogging (1) hot guy in front of you; (2) creepy dude behind you.
76. Feminists, do you hold doors? Do you carry your man’s stuff when shopping? Do you apologize for no reason? Don’t talk about equal rights.
77. Never assume that somebody loves you just because they are sweet sometimes. Make sure you’re not their “when I’m bored” person.
78. I was just about to get offended by a stranger on the Internet but then I remembered I’m not an idiot.
79. Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That’s not lazy, that’s proactive.
80. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
Vote and comment for your favorite Hilarious Facebook Status!!
YOU ARE READING
Hilarious Facebook Statuses :)
HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
