#101-110

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101. If you like water, you already like 70% of me!

102. Ford F-150 commercials make it seem as if hauling loads of crumbled boulders over mountainous terrain is a commonly-practiced thing.

103. I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.

104. I may look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face 3 times!

105. Men say that women should come with instructions… What’s the point? Have you ever seen a man actually read them???

106. I walked briskly with scissors today. I’m pretty wild.

107. I would not advise turning your frown upside down. The surgery is extremely painful and not covered by most insurance.

108. I went to a club and they played “The Twist”, I did the twist. They played “Jump”, I jumped. They played “Come on Eileen”…I got kicked out for that one.

109. If girls think giving birth is hard try playing call of duty on a laggy server.

110. The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.

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