731. Phone cases are like condoms; you don't want to, but you kind of have to.
732. Do you ever just start rubbing your eyes so hard, that you just start entering some new unknown fucking dimension consisting of twists and patterns like you're on acid or something?
733. There are commercials in front of online trailers now. So I have to watch a commercial to watch a commercial?
734. Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?
735. Even atheists make bargains with God when the toilet water threatens to overflow at a friend's house.
736. "I wanna kiss you so bad right now." "what?" "Damn autocorrect, I meant hey"
737. Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?
738. It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.
739. Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
740. Kanye West naming his baby North can only be topped if Drake Bell names his child Taco.
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