701. That awesome moment when you carry an entire load of laundry to the bedroom without dropping a single sock.
702. Let me get this straight...a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out...and still be afraid of a spider?
703. Forgetting you have sunglasses when you're hungover is like forgetting about your gun in war.
704. DO NOT TEXT ME WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING I'm not trying to be the last unfinished message they find when your ass is wrapped around a tree.
705. Remember the good old days when making the "duck face" involved 2 Pringles?
706. Too bad you can't get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack by now.
707. Not sure if my house is creaking for its own personal house reason or I'm about to be murdered.
708. I think 60% of my life consists of me laughing by myself.
709. Want to piss off a lot of people quickly? Walk into a restaurant 5 minutes before they close.
710. I have a smart phone with a dumbass battery.
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HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
