503. That awkward moment when you walk pass someone wearing exactly the same shirt as you are.
510. I'm really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don't care.
519. I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so if I owe you money..I'm sorry. but I've moved on.
542. "THIS IS NOT AN ASSIGNMENT YOU CAN DO THE NIGHT BEFORE." Challenge accepted.
569. Whoever the fuck though of the idea for pants with fake pockets should be placed in a mental institution.
570. I don't care how old I am. If I lose my Mom in the supermarket I will panic.
579. My neighbor knocked on my door at three in the morning! Can you believe that? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.
583. Either my Spidey senses are tingling or my butt fell asleep again.
594. Nice outfit. Did it come with a pole?
595. Too ugly for the people I want. Too hot for the people who want me.
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Hilarious Facebook Statuses :)
HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
