51. I live for two reasons… 1. I was born. 2. I haven’t died yet.
52. My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I’m off to find a bar with a mirror.
53. I do exercise. I do one sit up everyday…when I get out of bed in the morning
54. Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.
55. I don’t know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
56. Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye AFTER you hit send..
57. Come on people if you’re gonna walk at night smoke a cigarette or something so I can see you, can’t be having any more dents in my car.
58. I would like to thank running for helping me lose weight and feel better. However, I would also like to thank pre-run procrastination for getting kitchen cleaned, my laundry folded and for this status update.
59. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
60. If you’re camping and you have WiFi, you’re not camping.
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