341. That awkward moment when you’re answering a test question and the answer is so obvious you actually begin to doubt yourself.
342. The back of every furniture assembly manual should have a coupon for couples counseling.
343. Your baby was cute until I realized you’re on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid.
344. Facebook asks me what I’m thinking. Twitter asks me what I’m doing. Foursquare asks me where I am. Conclusion: the internet is my girlfriend.
345. You text me, I respond in 15 seconds, then apparently you die of excitement because 2 hours later I’m still waiting for a response…
346. Speak English, kiss French, drive German, dress Italian, spend Arab, party Caribbean.
347. Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
348. I have to stop saying “How stupid can you be?” I think people are taking it as a challenge.
349. My laziness is exactly as the number 8. If it lays down, it becomes infinite.
350. Every time you speak, I feel my brain cells committing suicide one by one.
Vote and comment for your favorite Facebook Status! :D
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
Hilarious Facebook Statuses :)
HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
