#331-340

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331. I don’t know who invented Nutella, but I’m going to assume they went to Hogwart’s.

332. Time to buy a new car, a bigger TV, a better cell phone and a faster laptop so I’ll finally be happy! (Repeat over and over until you die)

333. That awkward moment when you don’t know what to do with your life when you leave the computer, so you just get back on.

334. If you’re in a relationship for sex it’s like buying an airplane for the peanuts.

335. I got sent out of class once at school.The teacher yelled at me, “What would your parents say if I called them?’ I replied, “Hello?”

336. Chapstick, bobby pins & hair ties are by far the hardest things to keep up with.

337. What a lovely winter we’re having this spring.

338. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.

339. When I see my cat watching out the window, fascinated, I sit beside her and say, ‘Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.’

340. If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just silently texting about their shitty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.

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