Always Starts With Death

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Kristen's Pov

It seemed to be a still night. Not many robberies, or crime lords. A punk had wanted to pick a fight with the wrong crowd, and the two of us had to swing in and save his sorry ass. Some people just don't have the common sense.

We had taken the night off away from Malcolm, and decided to give Robin a break. Between missions, training, and Team duties, it was hard for him to keep up with Gotham. The pressure on him had started to become evident.

There was nothing to do at the Hall anyway. It's been getting harder to sleep, and I've been bored out of my mind at night. Patrolling sent excitement coursing through my veins. It was a chance to keep the passion going.

"You haven't been getting sleep much have you?" Nightwing broke the silence. Well, if you can call the honking of traffic silent. To us, if there wasn't any police sirens, it was pretty quiet.

I looked away to avoid meeting his gaze. 

"I've been sleeping fine," I mumbled. The words sounded forced. It was obvious I was keeping a secret. He only sighed in reply. The conversation ended there. Or so I thought.

"Is it nightmares?" He asked quietly. My heart began to pound. Do I tell him about Max? About Mal?

Of course you shouldn't, idiot!

But my gut said other wise. Why couldn't I make up my mind anymore?

"My brother, Max. He was six when he was shot," No response, so I continued. "I haven't slept in three days."

Nightwing reached out and pulled me by the shoulder, softly and surely. He spun me in order to face him. His eyebrows were knitted together with concern. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I-I didn't know what to do. I've never had nightmares before. It's only getting worse." My voice started to crack, and the story rushed out in stammered lines.

When it was over, my chest deflated in relief. Like a pen that had been poking my side was removed. 

"Everyone has nightmares, Kris. We've all went through them. Heck, Batman's been through them." 

I only stared at the concrete of the building under my feet. 

"It's better if you tell someone about what's going on in your head. It creates a vulnerable spot your thinking process. I know what it's like to have your nightmares control you. And let me tell you, once it messes with things, you're never the same."

The dumbest question bubbled to my tongue. I wanted to ask, only my mouth was glued shut. But it was a matter of time before my curiosity got the better of me. 

"It was Batgirl, wasn't it?" I paused. "Barbara?"

The moment I said it, I immediately regretted it. His whole frame stiffened next to me. I didn't have to see his face to understand that I've hit a soft spot. "I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"It really doesn't matter now. You were bound to find out sooner or later," I waited in silence for him to continue. When nothing came, I prepared to dismiss the topic, but he cut me off. "We basically grew up together. I've known her ever since I put the Robin suit on. We went through school, and near death experiences together. Almost everything."

I guess you learn something new everyday. "When she passed, the Team was too much for me. Especially after Wally's death. It was a big punch in the gut." 

Nightwing opened his mouth, but closed it after a moment. There was definitely something I wasn't being told. Yet somehow, I was strangely okay with that.

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