• My Best Friend's Brother • { Cameron Dallas }

s i x t e e n

Awkward had became an understatement for the house we all 3 now shared.
Cameron, Alex, and I had barely spoken. I had began to endure mild depression, from all of the stress.

I was alone most of the time, and not that I wanted to be, I had no choice. If I talked to Cameron, Alex became angry. If I talked to Alex, Cameron became angry. Either situation was a lose-lose situation no matter how you looked at it.

I sat in my bedroom, sitting in the normal stance, staring out the same boring old window. By looking at what building the sun hit, I had learned how to tell the time; it was 4 p.m.

I heard a knock on my door, and without moving or breaking my stare I answered.

"Come in."

I knew by the presence that it was Cameron. He gave off a vibe that wasn't necessarily dangerous, just an adrenaline rush feeling.

"I was just wondering if you were hungry?" He asked cracking the door open.

I turned to face him, in a monotone face. His eyes were reaching out to help me, but my mind was saying no. I shook my head and turned back to my position facing the window. I felt him come up behind me, and he placed his hands on my shoulders, massaging them. But for some reason, I didn't seem to really feel it. Almost as if it were numb. He leaned his head down and kissed the side of my neck softly.

"I can make all of your worries go away." He said seductively.

I immediately shoved him off of me. I was not in the mood for his sexual, pimp, games.

"Don't touch me." I snapped.

"Mack."

"No." I yelled.

Alex came running into my room to see what all the fuss was about. He glanced at Cameron, and then back at me.

"You okay?" He asked partially stuttering.

"I'm fine." I growled, folding my arms across my chest.

"Get out." I yelled.

They both left, and I went into my bathroom, searching the drawers for something sharp. I was tired. Tired of my family. Tired of not having Kylie, or Gina, anymore. Tired of Cameron, and Alex. Tired of myself. But most of all, I was Tired of being tired.

I found a razor, and popped the blade out of it. I held out my arm, eyeing it up and down, observing for a spot to start.

I looked down at my wrist and placed the blade about a half an inch away from my skin. But I couldn't do it.

I couldn't.

My mind, wouldn't let my body physically cut my wrist. I stood in that state for the longest time, wishing for someone to rush in and snatch it out and throw it away, but no one did, and sadly, no one ever does.

I thought about all of the pain I had cause every one, and I placed the blade a hair closer to my skin. I had broken Cameron's heart. I had broken Alex's pride. I had broken Kylie's trust, and I had broken Gina's family.

I looked down at the blade, no more than a hair away from my skin, and then back to my reflection in the mirror. The funny thing was, is I didn't recognize the girl in the mirror. Who was she? How had she ended up here? But most of all, how did she let all of the ones she loved and cared about, down?

As I stated back into the mirror, at this stranger, I can't recall the last time, I was ever truly happy. I can't recall the last time, I had truly knew who I was.

But I knew one thing for certain. This girl in the mirror. This girl staring right back at me, she was not me. And I was not her.

"You don't have to do that." A voice said from behind me.

I quickly turned to see Cameron standing there. I pondered how long he'd stood there before deciding to let me know he was present.

"You can find happiness." He said trying to pull my attention away from the blade.

"No, you don't understand cam, it's like I do nothing but bring dark clouds over everyone. Just let me die." I cried.

He inched his way towards me a little more, causing me to tense up some. He held his hands up, in defense.

"You don't want to do that. Well just take you to the hospital. They'll save you, and you'll end right back here." He said still inching closer.

"SHUTUP. You don't know." I said tears streaming down my face.

"Oh I don't yeah? Baby, look at me." He said calmly.

I turned my head slowly towards him. He held his arm up slowly, then rolled the sleeve down, to reveal the marks that once had bled. The scars that had once been open wounds, yet now had aged, and we're almost gone.

"See.. We all have our demons. Some are just worse than others. I can help Mack." He said sliding his sleeve back down. He inched even closer to me, so that he was able to embrace me. I dropped the blade on the floor, and fell into him. For once, in a while I hadn't felt alone. I felt love again. Something I thought would never come around. Yet, just like sunlight it manages to show its face every day.

"I love you." I said my tears staining his shirt. I wrapped my arms around his torso, squeezing his shirt into my fingertips, and slowly my anger and sadness, fell away.

"I love you more." He said kissing the top of my head.

"You really do?" I asked looking up at him.

"I really do", he replied with a slight chuckle.

I suddenly realized what was happening again, and I pulled away. I couldn't become close with Cameron because then Alex would surely hate me.

"Cameron I can't do this." I said pushing him away.

"What why?" He asked hurt.

"Alex.." I mouthed.

"I should've known.." He said shaking his head.

I tried grabbing his hand but he snatched it away.

"Cameron he'll hate me.." I cried. I felt the tears rush to my eyes again, and it took everything I had to refrain from bawling.

"Mackenzie, he's in love with you. I'm in love with you." He blurted out.

"Both of you?" I asked.

"Yes.. Both of us." He said running his hand through his hair.

"Cameron.. I can't choose. Don't make me please."
I said, trying once more to grab his hand.

"No Mackenzie. Choose. It's Me or him. Who's it gonna be?"