• My Best Friend's Brother • { Cameron Dallas }

f o u r t e e n

Five months after Cameron's sentencing, I had finally come to the realization that visiting him, would help me in the healing process. The past five months had been, depressing. It was filled with thoughts of anger, sadness, disappointment, and most of all, heartbreak.

Looking at Alex, had began to make the feeling worsen. It reminded me of Cameron. Alex had tried multiple times to reach out to me, but I had pushed him away, refusing to let him get close to me. I felt as though, letting him in would only hurt me, even more.

I had eventually talked to a therapist, who suggested that I go visit him. I walked down the stairs from the apartment complex, and to my car. The idea of driving didn't please me, so I decided to walk instead.

I stepped onto the sidewalk, and made my way to the county jail. It wasn't but maybe a block, from my apartment. It was around May now. The sun started shining warmer, and the humidity was becoming outrageous even for a Cali girl. My white converse slowly treaded the way up the sidewalk, to the the building that lie ahead. I looked up scanning the building with my eyes, before continuing on to the front door.

"Who are you here to see?" A lady, who smiled, asked.

"Dallas. Cameron Dallas." I said, repeating his first name with his last, to inform her.

"Follow me." She said standing, and then leading the way for me to follow. We inched into the next room, where a row of glass windows, only separated by small wooden walls, were filled with prisoners on one side, and family on the other.

"Here you are." She said handing me the phone that was hung above my head to the left.

I took a seat, and my eyes glanced up to meet a familiar stranger's eyes.

"Hello Cameron." I said, trying not to make direct eye contact with him.

"Hi Mack!" He said smiling. "I'm really glad you're here.."

My eyes met his again, and I could sense the touch of hurt in them. The question of 'why haven't you come to see me at all in the past 5 months?' Was obviously written all over his face.

"Cameron." I started, but he cut me off.

"No. Mack, you didn't let me explain." Cameron said biting his lip.

I gave him a look of concern, allowing him to speak once more.

"Mackenzie. I love you. I'm in love with you. No one else. No one else has been able to make me feel the way you do, or smile the way you do. You make me feel alive, and free, and like I can do anything I put my mind to." He said pushing his hand up against the glass.

"Cameron, I came here to heal myself. To mend my heart. Not to make mends with you." I said looking down.

He dropped his hand from the glass, before glancing down, and shaking his head. He had obviously not expected that to be my answer.

"So you're not here for me... You're here for yourself." He said, making it sounds as if I was the selfish partner.

"Cameron." I tried again.

"No, that's not fair. You don't get to waltz up in here and just tell me I'm not allowed to see you anymore. That's not fair Mackenzie." He cried.

But it was fair.

"Oh really? Because I don't think you truly understand the meaning of fair." I snapped.

His eyes shot up, full of tears. He hung his head down, and then put the phone back up to his ear.

"Mackenzie." He started, but this time I cut him off.

"Cameron, what's so fair about you lying to me? About you being a pimp? YOU RAN A BUSINESS OF PROSTITUTES CAMERON, YOU LIED TO ME. AND THAT'S SOMEHOW FAIR TO YOU?" I yelled.

I was infuriated now. How could he possibly think that we were even, just because I had not come to see him. He was the one who lied to me.

"No... It's not fair. You're right." He said shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

"No I'm sorry. Because at one point I actually thought that I was in love with you too Cameron. But then I found out you probably tell about 15 other girls the same thing, yeah?" I said annoyed.

Cameron didn't speak. He stared at me in shock, as if waiting for me to speak again.

"Please don't go." He said, crying.

I shook my head to refrain from crying.

"Goodbye Cameron." I said as I hung the phone back on the wall.

I stood up from the chair. He had slammed both of his fists against the glass, causing the guards to rush over to him pulling him away. For the first time in my life, I felt free. I felt as if a burden had been taken off of my shoulders. I turned my back to him, glancing over my shoulder one last time.

He mouth a "please Mack."

But please wasn't an option choice anymore. The only option I had left was to say goodbye.

I walked home, crossing my arms on my chest. I don't know if I was cold because of the sudden wind, or if I was just seriously cold hearted for what I said. I refused to let myself feel remorse for what I said. But something about him throwing himself at me against the glass, made me feel somewhat sorry for him.

I arrived at the apartment, and walked in seeing Alex on the couch. He looked up at me, once he heard I was home.

"How'd did it go?" He asked standing up.

I just shook my head, and ran to him. He pulled me in for a hug, and rubbed my back.

"I'll take that as pretty awful, huh?" He chuckled slightly.

I nodded and he hugged me tighter. His small humor somehow made me feel a bit better, even if it was slightly demeaning.

"He told me he was in love with me." I managed to get out.

"The L-Word." He said laughing.

I laughed a little, letting it escape from the tears. He laughed at me, causing me to laugh.

Our eyes met, and for once, I didn't see Cameron in him. I seen a new person. A better light. I seen new brown eyes, new brown hair, new lips, a new cute nose. I seen a brighter, beautiful smile. I seen Alex.

His smile slowly faded, and so did mine. We both leaned in closely, glaring at each other. Our faces so close, I could feel his hot breaths, hit me.

He leaned in and without another moment to spare, slammed his lips into mine. I didn't resist. I just kissed back. I kissed back more with him, than I did with Cameron.

And I don't think, I regretted it one bit.