Success

31.

I've been asleep a while now, I only know because I heard an announcement from the pilot saying we still have 10 hours left. Which is a drag.
I decide to put a film on while Luke sleeps and Charlie listens to her music. I decide on Disney's Hercules and place my headphones in.

Half way through the film I feel a tap on my forearm, I look to the left and witness Charlie's puppy eyes, "can I watch mummy?" She asks "sure you can baby" I say handing her a headphone and cuddling her into my chest while leaning back a bit into Luke, and moving the television to face us.

"Mummy" Charlie says yawning a bit as the film nears its end "mmm" I him as I watch Hercules battle with Hades "will you and lukey get back together?" She asks with hope "well Luke's getting married to another woman. So no we won't Charl...." I sigh "oh" she sighs similar to me "but if he wasn't going out with someone, I'd love to" I smile as she looks up with the biggest smile on her face, "really?!" Whisper yells with excitement "yep but he's getting married remember" I sadly smile. "Oh yea" she yawns as the movie ends and I choose another one, "Charlie have you heard of the Notebook?" I ask as she snuggles up to me in a blanket and shakes her head "well, it's very romantic and I think we should watch it." I smile as she nods as I start the film.

Charlie fell asleep an hour ago and the tears are nearly streaming down my face as Allie has to leave Noah in the film as I come to the realisation, even those who absolutely love each other more than anything have to be apart one way or another.. It breaks my heart. At that moment Luke stirs awake  "hello" he stretches with his cute raspy voice "hi" I weakly smile as I'm still overcome by all the feels of Ryan Gosling. "What's up?" He tiredly smiles "oh just... The notebook" I laugh a bit at how pathetic I sound, he laughs a little until I hit his chest "sorry.. Didn't label you as a soppy movie fan" he giggles like Charlie when she watches the Simpsons "well this is my favourite romantic film you should know" I smile playing it again "let me watch" he asks as I offer a headphone "you don't need to do that see" he smiles closing the door which I never noticed "sound proof" he smiles with an Oscar winning smile, making me instantly blush. I take the headphones out and play the film as my back rests on Luke's tummy and his legs either side of me (we only achieved this by having both recliners out so it's like a double sofa). I smile at how cute we probably look as a family but yet how far away we probably are from reality.

As the ending approaches the real tears are streaming now as both Ally and Noah die in one and others arms. As this happens Luke puts his arm around my shoulders and holds me closer to him as if.. He never wanted to let me go.. It sounded like he was scared. Weird.

"Luke are you okay?" I smile up to him as he's still holding me close "yea.. I've just not really watched that film before" he smiled a little and laughed lightly "and? What do you think?" My eyes rise up to his as a turn on my side "it was very romantic" he smiles lightly "and?" I persist for him to go on as he looks really affected by the ending, "i... Feel like I've made a lot of mistakes.. With you" when he says that I sit up with the most confused expression I can make "how do you mean? Like Charlie was a mistake?" I ask a bit offended I must say.. "No no definitely not Charlie... She's the best thing that's ever happened" I opened my mouth but Luke started again "because without her, I wouldn't have found you again." He smiles and sighs at the same time as I just need to process this all. "I-I don't know.. Don't mind me Marie" he sighs "no Luke it's okay. Charlie is the best thing to have happened, I agree. I'm just.. Sad I guess" I admit since we're both opening up like we used to when we were kids "why?" He asks concerned, as well as intrigued "well, over the years of having Charlie, I've never felt as loved as I did when I was with you, I mean no man ever wanted to be with me because they thought Charlie was a burden on them." I sigh as I know Charlie's not a burden all she wants is a dad figure, but I feel so alone.. All my friends live in different countries, I only have my auntie in England and all my cousins have left to get married. "But I don't even know if you loved me.." I whisper but it peaked likes interest as his head sprang up "Marie I did love you, so much. There was-is no acceptable reason for cheating. And the worst thing is, I didn't try hard enough to find you.. To find my daughter. When I heard the news about Charlie that day when you left, I was devastated, I knew I screwed up because the girl I love was having a chilled while I was screwing around with a girl I had been with for 2 years who I didn't love." Nodding along with his side of the story I can't help but feel flattered (yet not showing it). "I was a wimp.. The last 6 years have opened my eyes Marie, happiness is important. If you don't have it you won't succeed. In my twenties Olivia and I were always on and off, she treated me like shit, I treated her like shit, we ended, we got back together and so forth. The lads and I created albums, cared for our fans and went on too many tours to count" he sighed "that all sounds exciting, aren't you happy with all that?" I ask because stars always seem moderately happy with their fame and fortune,  but i know some feel empty. "I love the music side but.. Like you I want to be loved, have meaning to my life and serve a purpose, with Charlie I want to be there for her. With Olivia we never loved each other and I realised that over the last few weeks, so I had.. To... End it."