Break the Unbreakable

Chapter Fifty Four

My lips were still tingling from the way Harry kissed me earlier today. I was lying in my bed, staring up at the blank ceiling, wondering what possibly possessed him to lose control like that.

I replayed the moment over and over again in my head: the way he grabbed me, the way he pulled me in, and the way he pressed his mouth to mine without so much as one thought.

And everything about it was so twisted and messed up. But, at the same time, there was this sort of perfection to the moment. Like we were in a movie. Like this was going to be the fairy tale moment where we were going to realize that all the stupid things we've said and done should be put behind us.

But, this is reality. This is life. And life is never that simple.

A knock at the door scared me. I jumped up, out of my thoughts, and looked towards my room's closed door.

"Yeah?" I shouted.

"Sweetie, Niall's downstairs," my mum said from the other side.

"Okay," I replied, walking over to the door and swinging it open.

I joined my mum in walking down to see a grinning Niall at the front. I gave him a sweet smile.

"Hey Nialler, whatcha doing here?" I wondered.

"My dad invited his friends over to watch the football match on the telly," he explained. "They're all so loud. Though I could do some homework over here, if you weren't busy."

"Sure," I responded, leading him into the television room.

My guitar was lying on the couch, and he went over to pick it up. Strumming the strings, he started to tune the instrument.

"God, this thing is so out of tune," he said.

"I haven't played it in ages."

"Why is it out then?"

"Because I was thinking of playing it for the gala. I'm still deciding on what song I want to sing."

"The gala's in two days."

"Okay, well I had something in mind already. But, it was kind of like a love song - and since Harry and I are no longer...a couple...I didn't really think it'd be appropriate."

He nodded, not saying anything. His gaze shifted down to the guitar, as he kept plucking strings.

"So, do you think you'll ever get back together with him then?" Niall wondered, quietly.

I shook my head.

"I honestly have no clue," I replied. "He's being all mixed up about his emotions, so I don't get a clear idea as to what he wants. It seems like he's still hung up on our relationship, but it doesn't seem like he'll ever want to give us another go."

"Oh," was all he offered in return.

I was wondering why he was being so weird about this subject. He's usually pretty good at responding whenever I rant about the situation. Maybe he was getting tired of hearing it.

"So, are you still in love with him?" he asked, timidly.

"Yeah. I think I am," I said, seriously.

"You are?"

"It's only been like a week since we broke up, and we literally broke up the day after we said we loved each other."

"So you meant it?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I just assumed you both loved each other, but not in like...the 'I can't live without you' kind of way."

"What?" I was incredibly confused by our conversation right now.

"Never mind," he mumbled.

"No, Niall, I don't get it."

"I just thought that you'd get over it quicker than this."

"And why is that?"

"Because Harry's an arse," he replied. "He just is. And I know you see past all that. And you love him for who he is inside or whatever, but I thought that after all this - you'd be able to get over it."

"You mean after all I put him through? If anything, he should not be still in love with me!"

"Oh, come on Blake," he said, exasperatedly. "Are you kidding me? He still can't see how much you cared about him. He's not willing to let something go - something that he did himself, not too long ago. He's a hypocrite, and he's being incredibly oversensitive."

"Yeah, but I broke him -" I argued.

"And he broke Janet. It's a vicious circle," he replied. "And you didn't want to break him. You stopped. And he can't see that. It's just...it's annoying."

I was silent for a moment, all of his words sinking in slowly. I knew Harry was being stubborn, but I couldn't help myself. I still wanted him.

"Well, I guess he doesn't forgive easily," I argued.

"I think that for someone you're in love with...you'd be able to forgive a lot easier than you think," he responded.

And he gave me this sort of knowing look, as if I should read deeper into what he was saying.

I narrowed my eyes, in confusion, trying to decipher any meaning. But, I came up blank.

"I know he's dangerous, his emotions are everywhere, he doesn't have his head completely on straight - but nor do I!" I answered.

"God, its like you like the fact that you and him might never get anywhere. Its like you want to stay in this middle ground, where you both don't know what you are despite the fact that there are obvious feelings there."

"Maybe I do!"

"That's just stupid, Blake!"

"Why? Why is it stupid?"

"Because there are other people out there who could love you and treat you a hell of a lot better than he could!"

I shook my head.

"It just doesn't work like that for me," I responded, shakily.

He didn't say anything to that. And I just needed to leave the room for a moment, clear my head, sort my thoughts.

"I'm going to the loo," I announced, standing up.

"Whatever."

I walked out of the room, to go to the toilet. Inside the bathroom, I splashed cold water on my face and took a deep breath.

I took a few minutes to collect myself, before exiting and walking back to where Niall was. However, I could hear him strumming the guitar and singing softly:

I wanna be your everything,
I wanna be the one you need
So tell me where ya been all my life,
Gonna make you mine tonight

Hey baby you, you got what I need
But you say you're just a friend
Yeah you say you're just a friend

My mouth opened in surprise. After all this time, I was so stupid. He had forgiven me so easily. He had been there for me, not just because I was his friend.

I had dated the poor boy. And even though, in my mind, I was doing it for an assignment, his actual, real feelings were invested in it from the beginning. And I was an idiot for not knowing that it would've still affected him.

He had even said: I think that for someone you're in love with...you'd be able to forgive a lot easier than you think. Finally, my mind clicked.

Niall still liked me...and he was possibly in love with me.