Invisible

Chapter 23 Explanation

"Leah love?"

My eyes take in Jacob, his 5'11 frame is lank, he's lost at least 30 pounds. His skin is pale compared to his regular complexion which has always been the shade of dusted cinnamon. His black wavy hair is clipped short and he has dark circles under his sunken eyes. But he's still Jacob, my Jacob.

He holds out his arms and I step into them, my head tucked on his chest gives me the reassuring sound of his heartbeat and I know he's real. I feel the hot tears corse down my cheeks and I feel his hand on my head.

"How are you not dead?" The words come out slow and slurred as I squeeze him tightly.

"Um..." I feel Jacob shift and turn in the direction his hesitant response.

"Hunter!" I step away from Jacob without a thought as to why. My hands fly to my eyes and I wipe away the moisture on my face.

"I uh... I should go." Hunter seems stunned and I don't blame him, I am just as shocked.

"Call me later, okay?" He puts his hand on my arm and looks over at Jacob.

"Okay."

He looks right back into my eyes and gives a small crooked smile. My heart flutters and I swallow as he passes. Jacob steps in as Hunter steps out and I close the door. I turn the deadbolt and turn around.

Jacob grabs me around the waist and pulls me to him. His brown eyes as soft as ever as he brushes his left hand over my jaw and bends down kissing my mouth with so much emotion that at first I'm scared. Then I remember, his hands are familiar his body is calming, his eyes are home. I kiss him back and he runs his hand through my hair, pulling my hair out of its confines.

The hair tie catches on a few strands and I am yanked back to my senses. "Jacob stop it!"

He doesn't listen, his hand brushes my hair back and he kisses me beneath my ear.

"Jacob!" I shove him away and glare at him.

"What?" He looks hurt and for a second I almost give in, but I hold my reserve.

"You can't do this! It's been 3 years!"

"2 years 10 months and some odd number of days."

"Please don't." I sob, his know it all attitude mixes with his guilt and no matter how hard I try I can't stop looking at him. Jacob Alwx Davis, the best friend of my childhood, the man who stood by me through everything. Who ran from me to keep me from pain.

"Leah, please I can explain." He closes the distance again and takes my right hand, lacing his fingers with mine. He lightly pulls on my arm and leads me to the couch, he sits and motions to the seat next to him. I take my hand away and take the seat next to the couch.

"I'm giving you five minutes." I try to make my voice hard, fighting for myself is hard but I will not be hurt again.

"Leah, first please, I need to tell you how truly sorry I am I never wanted to hurt you and I certainly never wanted you to suffer. I did the only thing I could think of that even came close to the right thing."

"You have 4 and 1/2 minutes."

He sighs and sits back, his hands cover his eyes and rake down his face. "After I ran I moved myself to Colorado. My dad knew about my tumor, I still don't know how, he set up a medical fund for me. After I got the 6 month notice on life I decided to leave. Leah, it was the hardest decision I've ever made in my entire life."

I stare at my hands, they twist in my lap and I bite my lip to keep it from trembling.

"You have to understand Leah, the medical programs I signed up for... They were experimental, no guarantee of success. I went to Denver to be a guinea pig. One of the treatments required an extensive and exploratory surgery. It... It messed up my memory. When I woke up I couldn't remember how old I was, where I grew up, what I was doing there. Even my name, even you, it was all gone." He stops and leans forward, his head in his hands.