Chaper 20 Know You Better

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I didn't even realize I was screaming, I throw myself into a sitting position, my head pounds and my throat is sore. The first thing I notice is the lack of noise, the rain has stopped. I don't have my journal to write in and my cell phone is next to my keys... Which are still in the living room.

I hug my knees to my chest and force myself not to cry. Sometimes I get sick of this, being unable to sleep; waking up feeling like I've been hit by a truck; keeping my myself in my own little world so I don't get hurt.

What am I doing here? I throw back the covers and lightly get out of bed. My clothes are still damp but I change into them anyway. It's well past 5 and I tip toe to the living room for my things.

"You're not leaving are you?"

My shoulders tense up as I close my fingers over my phone. I don't know how to answer so I don't.

"So... The screaming, is that normal?"

He heard me, I whirl around and take a deep breath in. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's fine, I just don't know how you can get up this early without caffeine."

I look at him, confused. He didn't ask if I was okay, he's not trying to comfort me. "I manage."

"So, are you hungry?"

I'm not. I'm still upset but I nod my head anyway.

"Alright, give me a minute then." He heads in the direction of his room.

"What?"

"Well, unless you want leftovers from last night we've gotta go out for breakfast."

"Oh you don't have to-"

"It's fine, I'm in desperate need of coffee anyway, and I'm all out. Just give me a second to change."

A small laugh escapes my lips. I wait, drumming my short nails against my stuff pant leg. Finally he walks out and grabs his keys and jacket, "my car." He shakes the keys and I don't dispute him.

The drive into town is rather quiet and after a few monies I ask to turn on the radio to break the silence.

"What my company isn't enough?" He jokes.

"What happened with you and Tori?" The question pops out and I regret it the second I hear myself say it.

He shifts uncomfortably and I want to apologize. "It... Got complicated."

"Oh. I'm sorry. It's not my place." I look down at the dashboard.

"No, it's fine, we just didn't want the same things. Plus it just wasn't there."

"What wasn't?"

"Love."

I swallow hard, I never should have asked. It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut. "Love is overrated."

I feel his eye on me after this comment but I pretend I can't tell he's looking at me and I look out the window. The sun is starting to shine out over the landscape and everything takes on an eerie, gold glow.

How many sunrises have I seen in the last 6 and 1/2 years? Before my life fell apart you couldn't get me awake before 9, school was evil for making me get up at 6. Now, I find myself enjoying the coming light. Nightmares are a lot less frightening durning the day.

Again there is silence, Hunter pulls the car into the parking lot of an iHop that I haven't been to before. He takes out his phone as we walk into the restaurant and starts texting as we are seated.

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