Hush (A Joker Story)

29: The Difference Between Right and Wrong

When Jack got home that night, I was waiting on our bed with my laptop in front of me, typing up my thoughts. As soon as he walked in, I saved my file and closed out of the program, turning off my computer and setting it aside. I smiled at him, his mood seemed to darken as he frowned.

“I can tell something is wrong with you, darling.”

I sighed, shrugging, adverting my gaze to my hands. He walked over to me and kissed my cheek, sitting next to me, pulling me into his lap. 

“I’m just sad. This isn’t a good job, Jack, we kill people.”

He chuckled. “And?”

I looked into his eyes. This was one of the things that Jack and I would never agree on.

“And how many of those people are children?” I whisper softly. “One day, you and I will have chil–“

“I don’t know about that.”

I frowned. “What?”

“I don’t know if I want kids.” he shrugged.

I was in shock. “But–but... I want to have a family, I thought–“

“Look babe. It’s too early to even think about it. Alright?”

I shrugged sadly, and decided to drop it. “I just don’t feel good about being a criminal.”

“I don’t see why not.”

I shook my head and looked at him in the eye. “Think of it Jack. Think of it. Imagine how many people get blown to bits, or how many people get shot and killed.”

“I don’t really care.”

“What if I was one of those people?!” I shouted, getting out of his hold, getting off of the bed and standing up, glaring at him angrily, tears threatening to spill. Shocked, his mouth slightly opened, his eyes softened slightly.

He finally got it.

“You will never get hurt.”

“And how do you know? I’m with you Jack, even if I wasn’t with you, The Joker, I would be Mouse. I would be Hush. I would be the criminal I have been for most of my life. I’m a rotten egg. I don’t deserve a life if I spend it taking them!” 

“Okay now, don’t talk like that. . . .”

“Oh stop it, I’m not going to kill myself. No.” I shook my head. “I’ll live with this blood on my hands, but I don’t think I can deal with this job anymore. I quit.”

“Why?”

“I had a family!” I shouted, clenching my fists, he got off the bed and stood in front of me, angrily staring into my eyes.

“I had a pregnant wife, she died in a freak accident and I lost her and the baby. The same day, I had a freak accident happen to me as well because of the fucking Batman. Don’t think I don’t understand.”

“I’m not saying you don’t! I had it made though Jack, listen to me, listen to what I have to say before trying to turn my words down. I had a rich mother and father, a huge house, a list of goals I was working on completing! I had a loving brother, then he died, and my mother and father abandoned me. I went from the top of the food chain to the bottom.” I wiped a tear away. “And it still hurts.”

He was angry, he lifted his hand to slap me, but I smacked his hand away. “Don’t even.”

He shook his head. “You are fucking impossible sometimes.”

I took his face in my hands, crying. “Jack, we lost everything we had. All we have now is each other, isn’t that all we need? Can’t we stop this life? Can’t we settle down? What happens when we get old? What happens when our kids, if we have them, get hurt because of us? What if one of us doesn’t come home?”

He set his hands on mine gently, the warmth of his hands calmed me down a little, and I stopped crying.

“I can’t just quit.” he whispered.

That was the first time I ever saw genuine pain in Jack’s eyes.