The Underground

Drunken Mistakes

I lie awake, once again, after a tiring day of grilling lectures on formations and the Survey Corps. Eren wasn't present. Not much surprise there. But I kinda wonder if he's alright.

I fling my blankets off and place my bare feet against the cool floor. There are more important things to worry about. Levi.

I shove my boots on and bush my messy hair out of my face. I still had questions I had to ask. It's not about just me anymore. Levi feels the loss of Isabel and Farlan too.

I search the dining hall since I don't know where his room is. Not there. The kitchen? Not there.

Finally I open a door and find a small room with a table and chairs and Levi. He looks up at me over the lip of his tea cup, sipping, saying nothing.

"You've looked better." He mutters finally.

"I could say the same about you." I pull out the chair beside him and sit, crossing my arms.

"Why are you here?" He says after a long pause. He sounds wary of my response.

"I couldn't sleep." I looked him in the eyes. "Needed some answers." His eyes flicker away as he takes a deep inhale. "How'd they die?" I whisper.

I could already assume how. But I wanted to know what the Titan looked like. How and when it happened. Their last words. Anything.

He stares at me for a long time before setting down his cup and staring at the wooden table like it held the story itself.

He explains the rain, the fog...the Titan. His voice is pained and but his eyes are emotionless. He describes the Titan with such hatred and rage that I feel it. He describes every cut he placed as if it was yesterday.

By the end, my fists were balled up and tears were threatening to spill onto my cheeks. I stand up without a word and left, heading for the kitchen.

I need something stronger than tea to talk about this.

I make my way back to the room with a bottle of whiskey and a grim expression. I close the door behind me and pour it into Levi's cup, saying nothing.

I sip the burning liquid and wait till my tears are controlled. Running my fingers through my hair, I put my cup down. I have no idea what to say. I'm not dumb enough to say I'm sorry or to blame myself. It wasn't my fault. I wasn't there. There's nothing I could've done.

Levi silently drains his cup and waits patiently for my reply.

"I honestly don't know what to say. I have no right to try and comfort you. I didn't know them well." I grip the table. "But I do know that they helped me keep my father alive. They were kind and pure." I can't stop moving my hands. "They didn't deserve that!" I almost shout.

Levi stares at the table for a long time. "I know."

I fill both of our cups, my head starting to get foggy. We drank together in silence for what seemed like hours. I feel as if I would pass out before we spoke again.

"How was the Cadets, (Y/n)?" Levi finally asked, he leans slightly on the table and his movements weren't graceful anymore. Not that I can judge, I'm a mess.

"Fuckin' buulll shit." I smile a little.

"Why?"

"Most of my friends died early. Some left. One even accused me of loving her boyfriend." I laugh deliriously.

Levi smiles for the first time since we reunited. "Don't worry. After it happens so much, you don't get attached anymore."

"Which part? I don't think I can take anymore love drama." I grin.

He just shakes his head. "You're funny when your drunk."

"And I'm not funny when I'm s-sober?" I fake a hiccup for effect. Levi's shoulders shake as if he's trying not to laugh. I've never seen him this free since the Underground. I like this side of him. I pick up the now empty whiskey bottle. "Maybe we should keep whiskey around, eh?"

"Maybe we should. You have a shit attitude problem without it."

I laugh hard knowing that was Levi's one attempt at a joke. "Look who's talking! Mister I-can't-feel-shit-cause-I-look-constipated-all-the-fucking-time." I wiggle my eyebrows at him and Levi let's out an embarrassing snort.

"Go fuck yourself, (Y/n)."

"You too, buddy." I smile at him and realize he's smiling back. Like really smiling. Not that Lemmi-hide-my-feelings-smile. But the I'm-genuinely-enjoying-myself-smile.

Suddenly I'm very aware of the small bit of space between us. Why are we so damn close? Why am I just now realizing that I can feel his breath on my cheeks? I involuntarily look at his lips.

Please tell me he didn't see that. Please.

His eyes widen and glance at mine. Oooh no.

Why can't I fuckin' move away? All I have to do is get up and go to bed. (Y/n). Please get up and go to bed.

He takes a sharp intake of breath and glances from my lips to my eyes. Our mouths move closer to each other until our lips are brushing against each other, our breath mingling.

Finally our lips crash together wildly and for some stupid fucking reason... I don't stop it.

An: You're Welcome.