Happy Never After

I Don't Think I Can Trust You

-Calum-

"Seriously, you can stay with me. I'll sleep on the floor."

Of course she can't check in to Luke's room without him being here and she's not letting me pay for her own room so I'm insisting she stays with me in mine.

Obviously I don't want her to be without somewhere to sleep, but I'm mainly concentrated with the fact that us being stuck in a room all alone the whole night gives me a chance to win her back, even if she is Luke's girl. I can barely even think that thought. She should be mine.

"I really don't want to make things complicated or uncomfortable" she keeps telling me.

"You're staying with me, whether or not you like it." I say to her, smiling a bit.

I don't know if I deserve her or happiness, but I realized I'm way too selfish to let her go.

"I'm ordering room service for us, you must be starved too."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks."

She's just sitting on the bed acting so innocent and quiet, as if I don't know how she really is. I just want it to be how it was with us, but I ruined it and now she's all reserved around me. I hate it.

I sit next to her, but no closer than a very safe distance apart. "Let's watch a movie?"

"Calum, you don't have to do that."
Hearing her say my name alone puts a smile on my face.

"What do you mean? Can't a grown man watch a movie on a Wednesday night while stuffing his face with room service?" I just let myself say the first dumb thing that comes to mind, wanting to be myself around her.

She laughs that sweet little laugh, that she always tries to cover up, probably not realizing how cute that little laugh is.

"I mean, you don't have to hangout with me. You can go out and do whatever it is you do."

"I'd much rather watch The Fault In Our Stars, unless you don't like that movie then maybe something else?" I reply.

"You're joking, right? Luke hates that movie!" But once she realizes the sore subject she just brought up she looks down at her thumbs as if they are the most interesting thing she's ever seen, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Ah, well I like it Ms. Skyler Grace Young."

"Omgsh, Cal that's not even my middle name" she says giggling.

"True but that is Hazel Grace Lancaster's middle name. So feel free to call me Gus if you'd like." I playfully wink at her, wanting to make this joking mood last.

We both changed into our pjs and snuggled underneath the covers, with our laps filled with plates of food.

"Wow. I'm stuffed. Food coma stuffed." I say.

"Me too. The chocolate cake. Shouldn't have. I'm dead."

"At least you're still speaking in coherent sentences. Oh wait..." I tease.

"Shut up Cal!" she jokes and playfully shoves me.

Another hour into the movie and we're both laying there wide awake, under the covers but not touching. I really do like this movie but I've seen it so many times, I didn't feel the need to pay attention when Skyler was running through my mind. There were so many things I wanted to say but I couldn't bring myself to say a single word.

Calum just say something. Say sorry. Say anything.
I kept telling myself.

Instead, I just reached for her hand to pull it into mine but she pulled away immediately and uncovered herself from the blankets.

"Calum, please. You can't." she says sadly.

"Why not, Sky? Huh? Why? Cause you're dating my best friend or something, is that why?"

"Calum, that's not fair, you know it."

I really did know it wasn't fair but I wasn't about to admit that. I sit up so we're facing each other, just a few inches apart.

"We were together first and now you guys have to rub everything in my face."

"No, remember we weren't together? You made that abundantly clear many times, okay?"

"Well still, we were hanging out and everyone could see how happy you made me and how much I liked you!"

"Yeah, but you see, Luke is reliable and he's here for me. He's nice all the time, not just when he feels like it, like you. I didn't need to be in a full on relationship with you, but I'm also not the type of girl you can toy with. You're so bipolar when it comes to me. I thought we had some sort of connection but then you would just drop me like I was nothing. I want to feel special, okay?"

"You are special! So special to me! Why can't you just give me another shot?"

"You haven't even apologized to me. That really hurt me. Then you've just been ignoring me and making me feel like I imagined what we had or whatever. Now you just want me because I'm taken."

"That's not it at all! I just didn't think I was good enough for you, you deserve so much Skyler, so much. I want to be the person to give it to you."

"Calum...I don't think I can trust you."