"Wait, you didn't tell her yet?" His Dad said.
~Told me what?~
He shook his head. "No,not yet"
"Shit Zac, what were you thinking? I think you should tell her now, she has the right to know it."
His Dad looked at me and I looked him quizzically in the eyes.
"Yeah, I think I have to."
Now I watched at Zac waiting for him to tell me this big thing I don't know.
"Em, I'm gonna be shooting for a new movie and I have to leave for it in 2 weeks."
I was expecting something real different, so I was actually kinda relieved at this moment.
"Well, that's not that bad right? I can just come with you, right?" I said with hope.
"No I'm so sorry Em, you're not allowed to come with me. No one may know where the shots are except for us, because it has to be really quiet and calm in the area."
"What? But that is bullshit. That sounds like you are doing drugs or so there!"
"Come on Em, I can't do anything about it. It's not my choice.."
"Can't you just arrange something?"
"It's not that easy"
"You don't even take the effort"
I stood up and walked outside. I heard him talking to his parents when he stood up and saying "I know, I'm just stupid. Sorry... See you later, kay? I love you" and then he came after me.
I was pissed that he didn't tell me, but mostly sad that he has to leave and I'll have to miss him for I don't even know how long... I was standing against the car when Zac said my name from behind me. "Emily" I didn't respond, I know that's childish but I also knew it would sound too angry or sad.
"Em, I know you're mad but can we just talk about it?.."
I turned around to see him.
"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you only tell it because your parents said so?"
"I don't know! I know it sounds stupid and it is but I don't know. I guess I just didn't know how"
"That doesn't matter Zac, when did you want to tell me? The moment you're leaving? Cause that isn't possible!"
"I know Em, I'm so sorry. I mean, it's my work and I have to go cause I signed this contract so I can't stay and you can't come says the contract. It's not my choice you can't come! I want you there too..."
I don't understand why the hell I can't come with him...
"Can we please just step in the car and drive home?"
"Sure" he said. We got in and drove home. The whole ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. I felt that he didn't feel good about it but was scared to say anything and I felt sorry for him eventhough I was mad... I hated it so see him sad or worried, I just want him to be happy but he also has to know that I'm mad. We arrived home and I stepped out immediately, but Zac was faster than me so when I wanted to walk in he stepped in front of me and grabbed my shoulders with his hands.
"Emily talk to me"
He lifted up my chin with his finger so I watched at him but I looked away.
"Em! At least listen to me!"
"What?! What else can you tell me than that I can't come with you and I have to stay home, alone?"
"I just want you to know that it's not my fucking choice, I want you to come too, but I can't just ignore the contract!"
"Don't yell to me!"
"I'm sorry Em, I don't mean it like that.."
I got tears in my eyes again, I don't know how but I always have that so fast.
"It's almost my birthday, will you be there with my birthday?" I asked with a soft, broken voice.
"I'm gonna do everything I can baby, I don't want to miss your birthday"
"But you're not sure?"
He was quiet and sighed.
"No, not sure but I will do everything to be there"
That's where I walked in. I laid down on the couch and made myself small. He sat on the edge and laid his hand on my waist. He sat slumped and with his head down, he was sighing. I got up to look if he was crying but he wasn't, well I couldn't see his face that well but it looked like he wasn't. I felt so sorry for him and thought that I let him feel like this. I lay my head on his shoulder and my hand on his leg. "I'm sorry baby" I said.
"It's okay, it's my fault."
"I don't want to make you feel like this.."
"It's okay baby, really. Don't blame yourself for anything"
"You still don't look happy"
He sighed again and then got up. I didn't know if I had to walk after him or just keep sitting here, but I stood up. He was looking so good from the back. I wanted something. I put my arms around his neck and whispered in his ear. "Come fuck"
"What?" He whispered back with an unbelievable voice.
"You heard me"
I grabbed his hand and walked upstairs, he followed. I felt so excited, wtf was I doing? I loved the face expression of Zac when I looked back and walked further. He is such a cutie.
