His Tesoro (MxM)

Chapter 83

Stefano

I never thought Matteo would stumble upon my journal that day, he left me at the beach and went inside, only for me to follow right behind him, because to be honest, without him, I didn't see any point staying in the water any longer, and then I saw him with the journal and tears in his eyes and my brain did the only thing it could, the only thing I was used to doing, I shut down.

I don't do it intentionally, it just happens whenever someone talks about my past or mentions my father, so seeing Matteo like that because of me, my whole body couldn't take it because I knew he'd want answers, and I didn't know if I was strong enough to tell him, and I couldn't run from him, so I shut down instead.

And I didn't mean for it to last that long, but it did and I tried to snap out of it but I couldn't, it was fucking hard for me.

I couldn't just bring myself to do anything, to respond to anything, even to move from the beach house or even my bed was a struggle for me, so for the next three days I just stayed here, Matteo came on a daily basis to check on me, and I couldn't find it in me to say anything to him, even when he said i didn't have to tell him anything about my past.

Even when I saw Hewitt today, I wanted to say more than I did to him, but my strength failed me and all i did was just give him one word replies until he left my room, I didn't know he would call Matteo here, but I was glad he did because if he didn't then I wouldn't have been able to finally open up to him, or say anything to him.

And now as I laid on this bed, my mind was moving around in a speedy circle as I reminisced about what had happened a few minutes ago between us, that had completely blurred every line of friendship I had wanted to keep between us, and I knew after that, we couldn't go back to being friends.

And truthfully, I didn't regret it one bit, I wanted it to happen, well Matteo was right, I didn't really want us to go all the way, maybe that was just the adrenaline rush talking from all the tears I had shed and all the opening up I had done, but I wanted something with Matteo, something that didn't just end at us kissing.

And now laying down here, coming down from the high of having him go down on me, I didn't know what to do, I could feel Matteo's eyes on me, and it was making me very self conscious and my heart was beating so wildly, it was making it hard for me to think.

"Are you okay"? His voice made me know that he was in fact staring at me and probably thinking the same thing I was thinking

I just hummed because I didn't trust my voice in this moment, not after what had happened between us a few seconds ago.
I still can't believe that happened, I mean I know it was bound to happen between us if Matteo kept pushing with his advances at me, but it still felt surreal and very fucking awesome.

If not that I was deep in thought and kind of nervous, I would have been grinning ear to ear right now, I'd never felt that way in my life, with everything Matteo did, it was like I was in my own personal heaven.

Everything he did from the moment he kissed me was enough to make me pass out, but then he went down on me, he fucking gave me a blow job, and that was better than even sex itself, but now came the hard part, talking about what just happened.

Where we would go from here, well I already knew the answer to that, but telling Matteo was now the problem.
I wanted him, I wanted all of him, I was done doubting him and his feelings for me, and I was ready to take our friendship forward, I didn't want to be his friend anymore, at least not after what we just did.

Being so intimate with him made me realize that Matteo was it for me, I mean I knew before that if it wasn't him, then it wouldn't be anyone else, but now I was sure, sure of what Hewitt and Nate had told me about Matteo being in love with me.