His Tesoro (MxM)

Chapter 58

Matteo

I didn't know how to feel, my heart was in so many places at the same time and everything was just so confusing.
First, Nate was in the hospital, in a coma and the doctors didn't even know when and if he'd wake up, Spade apparently hasn't left his side since the night of the shooting, well after he had left and came back an hour later, I got to hear from Bernie later on that he had single handedly killed Sullivan and his men, attacking him in his home.

I spoke to him about it and he confirmed, only he said Stefano helped him, I swallowed when I remembered how our last encounter had gone, after Spade had asked me to call him, I was kind of expecting the Stefano I was used to, so it was a shock when he showed up and he was a totally different person.

He didn't smile like usual, he wasn't carefree, his eyes looked dead and darker and he completely ignored me, like I wasn't even in the room, and as crazy as it sounds, it fucking hurt knowing he had ignored me.

I wanted him to look at me, to at least tease me like he used to, or even joke around like before, but he just seemed uninterested in everything, even his eyes barely rested on me for a second before he would look away.

And then when I tried to apologise, he just waved it away, not like it was okay, but more like he didn't want it, like he didn't need my apology and it stung, more than I thought it would.

So now I was conflicted on how to feel, I don't know if I should feel sad for Nate who was still unconscious, or for Spade who seemed very lost and broken, or for the fact that Stefano seemingly doesn't want anything to do with me, he's giving me exactly what I asked for

I don't blame Stefano, if I were him I'd do the same thing, I basically accused the man of sexually assaulting me, without any solid proof.

I've tried to keep a clear head for the past week but it's been very hard with everything going on, I try as much as possible to be with Spade in the hospital, but he just ends up mopping around and completely ignoring me, and then I've also tried to get Su acquainted to everything here, at the club and at Spade's place.
We seem to be bonding over the last couple of days.

That's the only good thing that has come from everything that's been happening, my closeness with Su, i still haven't told her though that I'm her brother, I guess I'm still stalling, hoping that Nate will eventually wake up and we'll tell her together.

Asides Spade, she seems to be the only other person that spends so much time in the hospital with Nate, but hers is still tolerable, she goes home almost everyday, but Spade hasn't been home in almost a week, he makes me bring him clothes and work to the hospital, not that I'm complaining but he's definitely going to lose his mind if he doesn't take it easy.

I drove Su today to the hospital, giving Bernie the luxury of sitting it out, since he's the one that usually brings her, I know he insisted he was okay with bringing her himself, but I felt like I had to

I wanted her to at least talk Spade into leaving Nate's side, maybe to take a walk out in the hospital or something, at least to clear his head and distract him, she agreed, so when we just got in, she convinced him to help her get some things down the road, which he begrudgingly agreed after trying his hardest to protest.

Now I was left alone with Nate, I don't like hospitals, they remind me of a lot of bad memories, and now sitting here watching Nate connected to so many tubes, it made my stomach churn and my skin crawl in fear, he looked peaceful, too peaceful that I was actually getting scared that he wasn't breathing, if not for the constant beeping of the machine, I probably would have panicked and thought he was dead.

I wanted to reach my hand close to him, to touch his hand, to hold his hand, but I was fucking scared and nervous, I know we hadn't been close as siblings, but as friends, we were quite close, seeing him like this broke my heart