Love and Obsession

stubborn and blind

"Let's go get some food," I say after we walk out of the bank 15,000 dollars richer.

"Savannah," Jenna says. "Look over there." She points across the street. "Isn't that the guy who Alexander hired in Manhattan to follow you and protect you?"

I scan the sidewalk across the street until I find him and let out a frustrated sigh. "Yes. Come on," I say and yank her across the street to confront him.

"Brady," I say. 

"Miss Duley," he says with a nod.

"Why are you here?"

"Mr. Holt asked me to watch you."

"Ugh! No!" I yell with an angry foot stomp. "How long have you been following me?"

"A few months, Miss."

"No. This has to stop," I say and turn my back to him, pulling my phone from my bag to call Alexander for the first time in a few months. I haven't talked to him since he told me his attorney got my charges dropped two months ago.

"Savannah," Alexander says. "Are you alright?"

"No, Lex. I'm not alright."

"What? Why? What's the matter? Do you need me to come there? I can be on a plane now."

"Alexander!" I yell. "Why is Brady following me around?"

I can almost hear his smile through the phone as he says, "I paid him to be sure you're safe."

"No. This is unacceptable, Alexander. Make him stop and make him stop now."

"I can't do that."

"Alexander, if you don't have him stop following me, I will file harassment charges against you!"

"Why?"

"Because we aren't together anymore! You cheated on me and I broke up with you, Alexander.  Like it or not, you no longer have a say over me. That's the way this works. You can't just do whatever you want..."

"Damn it, Savannah, I didn't cheat on you!"

"You sure did lie to me though," I say.

"Maybe I did, and I'll admit that, okay? I lied about the other contracts. But that's all they fucking were! You are so much more to me, and I told you this. I love you and you're having my baby and you're running around with enough men out there in California to show me how quickly you could get over me."

"What?"

"Tabloids print everything. Do you think they aren't printing every time my pregnant ex-girlfriend is out with a new man? Because they are. It hurts me. You may think I'm an unfeeling prick who can't possibly have feelings, but you're so very wrong. I feel too."

"I know you do."

"Just so you know, I haven't seen anyone new since you left. I still love you. But I'll stop since that's what you want."

"Lex..."

He hangs up and there's something in me that regrets the fight we just had. Even though I moved across the country to get away from him, and I broke up with him because I know he and I will never make it work, there's something about the conversation we just had that makes me feel an incredible sense of loss like I've never felt before, and I allow myself to cry for the first time since coming out to L.A. I feel every bit of losing what I had with Alexander because it was real. Maybe it still is and I'm too stubborn and blind to see it.

"Are you okay?" Jenna asks.

I nod but continue crying as we stand there on the sidewalk, people passing us by.

But as I'm crying, my heart starts beating very fast and my head starts pounding. I glance at Jenna and say, "I think something's wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"I think I need to see a doctor right now."