Love and Obsession

I love you

As we're driving home, I ask Alexander what he said to Jim Taylor. 

"Lex, what did you say to him?"

"Who?"

"Jim Taylor."

"About what?"

"Me."

Alexander glances at me. "Don't worry about it."

"Alexander, tell me what you said."

"I simply made him aware that you belong to me."

I turn my head to look at him but I say nothing. 

"Don't you look at me like that," he says.

He pulls into the parking garage and I stay quiet as we walk up to the penthouse, but as soon as we're inside, I say, "Lex, do you think he wants to hurt me?"

As he's unbuttoning his suit jacket and walking to his bedroom, he glances back at me and says, "Hurt you? No. Fuck you? Yes. Absolutely."

"Surely not," I say. "You said he's married."

Alexander strips off his shirt and then his pants, tossing them to the corner as he says, "Why does that matter?"

"Oh," I say just standing in the bedroom, speechless.

"What's wrong?"

I shake my head and slip out of my heels.

Now in only his boxers, Alexander walks over to me, unzips my dress, and slips it off my shoulders as he kisses my bare skin.

"Forget about him," he says and slides the dress down my arms and glides his hands across my body.

"Okay," I say, surrendering myself to him as my dress drops to the floor. He lifts me into his arms and kisses me as he carries me to the bed. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I straddle his thighs and, he moves my long hair to kiss the curve of my neck and he mumbles. "So, you want to have kids, huh?"

"Someday."

"With me?"

"Maybe," I say as he lies back and positions me on top of him, sliding his hand up the front of my body.

With a deep sigh, he says, "What's it gonna take to turn that into a yes from you?"

I say nothing as my body moves with his.

***

I'm soon lying naked under the covers of his bed as he flips through the channels on the TV.

"Why do you want to have kids with me, Lex?"

"Why does anyone want to have kids with someone else, Savannah?"

I roll onto my side and stretch my arm across his body. "Well, usually it's because they love that person, but you've never said those words to me."

"Yeah, Savannah. I want to have a family with you because I hate you."

I roll my eyes and let out a frustrated huff, rolling onto my other side to face away from him.

"What's the matter? What did I say?"

"Alexander, why can't you just tell me you love me?!"

"I don't know."

I sit up, holding the blanket against my body, and I yell, "If you love me, if this was truly about love, then you'd be able to look me in the eyes and tell me you love me but you can't!"

I wait a few seconds for him to finally admit he loves me, but when he doesn't, I get up, grab his shirt and a pair of sweats, toss them on as I see him scramble to get himself together, and I walk to the elevator.

"Savannah!" he yells. "Savannah! Where are you going?!"

"Home."

"No!" he yells, stumbling to throw on a pair of pants and race after me down the hall.

I stop, spin around, and yell, "Alexander, I'm done! I can't with you anymore! I love you, Lex. I love you so much. But you... the fact that you don't love me in return is killing me. I can't handle being with someone who doesn't share the same passion for me."

"You think I don't love you?! Really?! If not loving you means I can't get your voice out of my head or that when I close my eyes your beautiful face is etched in my mind, or when I sleep you are there in every single dream, or if every breath I take is for you and everything I do is to be a better man because of you, then you're right. I don't love you at all."

I pause where I'm walking and just stare at him. "You love me?"

"I love you more than I love myself. I love you more than I thought I could ever love someone, Savannah. You are becoming my whole world."

"Then... then why haven't you ever said so?"

"I need you. I'm so afraid of losing you. As weird as it sounds."

I go over to him, slide my fingers along the edge of his pants, and kiss his lips.

"Say it again," I say.

"I love you," he says, clutching my face as we kiss. "So much."