Love and Obsession

I can't love him

"Lex," I say as I'm dressing for bed that night.

"Hm?"  He replies from the bed as he's flipping through channels on the TV.
"I should tell you I found a job," I say.
His eyes shift in my direction and he says, "Why? Where?"
"Well, I got the job because I'm broke and I need my own money," I say.
"You have money," he says. "Mine."
"That's just it. It's yours."
"Do you want your own spending account? I'll call the bank I own and have them create an account for you."
I roll my eyes and walk over to the bed. "Alexander, you're missing the point."
"No, you are. I have billions of dollars in assets. It seems silly for you to be working some measly little $15 an hour job."

I lie down beside him and say, "Alexander Sebastian, please don't fight me on this. I need to feel like I'm accomplishing something."

"Are your plays and school not enough?"

I sigh and walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth. "What are you even saying? You know I'm not in school right now because I have no money," I say

"I don't know why you're bothering anyhow. When you sign the contract, you can't have a job. Well, you can but you have to work for me."

"Alexander," I say, stepping out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in my mouth. "Do you even care about me or my wants and desires at all?"

"Of course I do."

"Oh really? If that's true, then why haven't you cared about why I'm not in school?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I just wish you'd sign the contract."

I'm angry now, and I yell, "Is that all you care about?! Is that stupid contract all that matters to you?! I'm a person with wants, needs, desires, and feelings! All you ever mention to me is that damn contract! What if I don't want to sign it?! What if I think it's a load of messed up fuckery that only a lunatic would write?! Huh, Alexander?! What then?!"

He stands from the bed and comes around to me, yelling back, "I didn't write the fucking thing, Savannah! Why can't you see that damn contract isn't who I am?! But whoever wants to be with me has to go through it!"

I shake my head and say, "No, Lex, you're wrong. They only have to if you make them."

He says nothing and I continue as I walk into the closet now. "You could have a normal relationship with me, but you choose not to because you love money more than you want to be with me."

I start taking my bags off the shelf and he says, "Savannah, what are you doing?"

I don't respond but continue ripping through my clothes, tossing items into my bags one after the other.

"Savannah..." he says, frantically. "Savannah! God damnit! What are you doing?!"

I pause and look up at him as I say, "I'm doing something I should've done weeks ago."

He waits for my response as I continue throwing my things into my bags, and then I say, "I'm leaving, Alexander."

"Why? Why are you leaving? You just came back."

I turn to face him as I'm walking to the door, and poking my finger in his chest, I say, "Because you will never realize what real love is. Your father was right. You scared me away, not him."

The look on his face when I say that breaks my heart a fraction and I want to wrap my arms around him and kiss his lips because I know this man needs to be loved; I'm just not sure I have what it takes to love him the way he needs it.