A Thousand Years, Stefan Salvatore

083. NONE OF THIS WILL EVER BE OKAY

Chapter eighty three

"None of this will ever be okay." 

Athena had fallen asleep in the closet, but when she did, Stefan who had his memories back had picked her up and put her in his bed, and slept on the couch, although as he did, he was having awful nightmares, remembering what Silas did to him.

"Hello, my shadow self." Silas told him as he stabbed him in the chest, Stefan groaned.

"Silas." Stefan said out loud, and when he did, Athena woke up, looking to him, she climbed off of the bed and walked over to him, seeing he was tossing and turning in his sleep.

Stefan remembered hearing the safe closing and being locked in it, as he was thrown down in the lake, water began filling up the safe.

"Stop." Stefan said out loud, as Athena got closer to him, he seemed to be struggling to breathe, as she cautiously leaned down to him "Stefan." she said.

And when she did, Stefan remembered drowning but as he did, he heard Athena's voice, as he remembered when he got out of the safe all he wanted to do was find her but when he did, he found her trapped in stone, having been like that for three months.

And he also recalled the way he treated her when he had no memories, where he remembered wanting to keep her safe but then he fed on her, but then the next day he told her that he would keep her safe and that he would never hurt her again. Then the two spent the next four days just talking or more so looking at each other. 

But what he hated the most was remembering the night of the dance where everything was going fine until Qetsiyah came and Athena didn't even remember her but when she had seen the way two of them were looking at each other, she punched her, and he remembered the look on her face like she shouldn't have done that and then she ran away and he didn't see her again until the next day at Qetsiyah's because he decided to go there in the end risking her life for his, seeing as she was destined to die from the moment she stepped back through that cabin door but he stopped it.

Yet it wasn't enough, because if he was truly himself, he would've fought for her to be changed back.

But now she had been this version of herself for so long that she didn't want to be her older self again, because being her twelve year old self again meant she was safe. Safe from all the pain she had gone through since coming back to mystic falls after being away from it for so long. Safe from the torture that Silas and Qetsiyah had put her through, where it was her own choice now to come back and having his memories back himself, he knew why she chose not to. And it was all they're fault.

"Stefan, it's okay." Athena told him, her hand on his shoulder, Stefan sat up, making her move back, and it made him angry that he scared her "I'm sorry. You were just talking in your sleep." Athena shared "no, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Stefan told her, looking at her necklace, he realized why his eyes always were drawn to it even when he had no memories, it was the engagement ring he had given her the last time he truly saw her.

"Does that mean anything to you?" he asked her, as Athena looked down at her necklace "I'm not really sure. Damon told me it would keep me safe and that I should never take it off but that's not true. Why do you want it?" she asked him, looking back up at him "no, no, it's..it's yours." Stefan told her, knowing why Damon said it would keep her safe, he didn't mean the necklace he meant the version of him even without his memories would keep her safe and in the end he did, but it wasn't enough, just like how dumping Silas in a lake wasn't enough, he needed to die.