Mister Perfect

Chapter twenty-six - Elijah

There was absolutely nothing on my mind on my way to Eleanor's besides one thing: her. That was a no-brainer, of course.

I was picturing how it would be, what I would do, what I would say. I would knock on her door and when she opened it, I would confess my love for her and tell her that she had to be mine or else I might go insane, actually insane this time.

I've done some pretty psychotic things before to other people's standards, but if Eleanor rejected me, I think I would have gone truly mental.

I think I would have left and went to find Richie to kill him right there and then, because I had a feeling that's who she would have turned to after declining my advance. If I couldn't have her, I didn't want anyone else to have that luxury. She was mine and only mine.

I thought that maybe instead of professing my undying love for her and coming across as a little intense, I should just let things happen. I would let my brain do the talking once she opened that door. I couldn't keep planning everything out in advance, getting lost in my head. I knew how I felt about her and if I just let myself be honest, nothing could go wrong, right?

I arrived at her doorstep, my legs feeling like jelly, as if I would collapse and fall to the floor in seconds. The only thing keeping me up was knowing Eleanor would be mine just a couple moments from now. My hand trembled slightly as I knocked on her door, wondering if she was even home.

After about sixty seconds, Eleanor cautiously pulled the door open, slightly peeking to see who it was - as she hadn't been expecting any visitors. I always loved that she was so safe.

Once she saw me, she had a surprised look on her face. "Elijah! Sorry it took me so long to answer, I was cooking. I was actually making your recipe..." She giggled and fully opened the door. She had a bit of what looked like spaghetti sauce splattered on her beige shirt and it made me fall in love with her even more. "What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you." She asked, softly.

I stared at her beautiful face for a while, possibly a little too long, before her happy expression turned to one of confusion and worry. "What? What is it?" She questioned me.

Spit it out, damn it! Why couldn't I say anything? Maybe I should have gone over hypothetical speeches on the bus ride here after all.

I took a deep breath and finally let it all out. "I like you Eleanor, like a lot. I've liked you since the first moment I saw you. You're funny... a-and you're smart. You have this energy about you, that makes me feel like I come alive whenever I'm near you or even just think about you. And I think about you a lot. You're on my mind all the time and I miss you whenever we're apart. I don't want to ask you to be my girlfriend because I feel like it's just so boring and stale, which isn't what you deserve. But I want you Eleanor, I want you in every way and I don't know how else to say it." I spewed out, before sealing my lips, wondering if I said too much.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I could have kept going and confessed a million more things to her but my goal wasn't to freak her out. It was to prove to her that I'm not like other guys, that I was in it for all the right reasons and wasn't going to keep her on the back burner.

I could have told her that I followed her that first day I saw her because I couldn't bear the fact of her being out of sight of me, or I could have said that I curated our first meet-up, I only bought a dog to get closer to her. Or maybe that I copied her keys to see how she lived, that I masturbated in her bed to feel closer to her, that I touched her vibrator and read her diary, stalked her social media, that I pushed away and threatened Richie so I could have her all to myself. Or how about the fact I bought the same perfume as her and I wore it any chance I got, to be able to smell her the whole day...

Of course I couldn't say those things but at the same time I wished she were able to see the hurdles I've crossed and barriers I've broken through to get to her, which is why I'm writing this book in the first place. It's all for her. Everything has always been for her.

She stood there, observing me, gazing into my eyes. Why wasn't she saying anything or jumping into my arms yet? I fucked this up, didn't I?

I took a step back, my heart thumping, banging against my chest like an angry animal fighting to get out. I scared her and now she was calculating how to get away from me. I almost felt those weak legs of mine give out waiting for her to slam the door, before Eleanor broke out the biggest smile I've ever seen. All of her top teeth showed, practically shining with a little twinkle, I swear I could even hear it.

"Okay mister anti-cliché." She murmured, taking one step forward. "I want you too. I've wanted you for a long time, actually. I was just waiting on you." She blinked rapidly, batting those gorgeous eyes of hers.

I let out a breath through my nose before lunging forward and gently cupping her cheeks with both of my hands, pulling her face closer to me. My lips just about smashed against hers, our teeth almost clashing from the impact. I felt her grab my t-shirt at the sides, scrunching them up tightly in her hands as if she was afraid she would lose me or I would fly away from the pure ecstasy coursing through my veins. I remember thinking that I had always wanted to feel wanted like this and now I finally was.

While we kissed, it felt like there were fireworks going off around us, time stopped, the whole earth stopped spinning and stood still, everything was on pause to let us have this moment together. I thought I was melting into her, consuming her, both of us morphing into one being.

I would live inside of her if I could.

And that's exactly what I did for the next twenty five minutes after she yanked me into her apartment.