My Dilemma: Shoto, Aizawa or Me?

34

Waking up felt exhausting. With no Shota by my side I had been struggling, knowing in my gut that we were fighting left me unsettled.

Was it even fighting if we never saw each other now?

Moving around my room I slowly got dressed for today's mission. Honing on my hero costume and braiding my hair for today, I paced my breaths to control my anxiety.

This anxiety had been dreadful, I thought I had it under control after my experience when my parents passed, but here I am years later with the same gut feeling of dread.

What if I wasn't enough? What if my training saved no one? What if I only saved one? These questions have no answers, but I couldn't help but have them on repeat as I got ready.

A slight knock on my door paused my pacing before another came.

"(y/n) please tell me you're awake"

Striding across my room I swung the door open to see Shota standing there.

"Shota..." I whispered, trying to control my voice as I felt myself move in place from wanting to reach forward.

"I just... Be safe today. Please." and with that, he turned and left. No response needed from me.

To say it frustrated me would be a lie. It infuriated me.

"I can keep myself safe just fine thanks," I spoke down the hall to him, slamming the door.

So what? He gets to ignore me for days on end and decide to give a fuck today? And what, i'm supposed to just be thankful?

Packing up my bag with this new motivation, one of proving I didn't need to talk or see him to be okay and on top of my game, I locked my door and knocked on Shotos.

Opening the door dressed to go, there was no doubt he had overheard.

"Im leaving, you coming?" and without a response I was already striding down the hall to the stairs, forgoing the elevator.

With a chuckle so light I barely heard it, I felt more than saw him follow me down.

Our way to the station had us meet up with Bakugo, Kiri, Deku, Tokoyami, and Uravity, all side kicks for the super heroes particpating.

"Ready for today?" asked Uravity as we made our way to the seats.

"To be honest I wasn't, I was dreading this until the last minute this morning." I replied quietly, looking ahead as the boys spoke to make sure no one heard me. "But this morning seemed to wake me up so to speak, and I'm ready to see what I'm capable of."

Uravity squeezed my hand quickly, "I was scared my first mission, but knowing who I was going in with helped. We have your back out there, just like you have ours." and with a nod of almost determination she got up and went to speak with Deku.

I felt my anger start to dissipate, breathing slowly. Shota can still f off right now, but having this team around me was the confidence boost I probably needed.

As we discussed the mission on the way to Hosu, I felt Shotos eyes on me. Looking up we made eye contact only for him to raise an eyebrow and turn his attention back to Bakugo. I didn't have time to think about what that meant right now.

Once we arrived everyone was quickly sectioned off to their stations and groups. I was placed with Mic who was helping on today's mission, and we sequestered to a building about 3 houses down ready to head out when the first people started being brought in for help.

"Why aren't you out there? I feel like your skill is more battle focused," I said, as we sat down in our chairs that felt and looked like the wooden classroom ones we had in America.