My Dilemma: Shoto, Aizawa or Me?

31.

Shoto hadn't brought up Aizawa again. 3 days since our conversation and it had been like it had never even happened. But that was Shoto I guess, he never let things be out there, everything was kept quiet and private.

Even my mess with Aizawa.

"Hey, do you have a minute? I need help with an assignment," I ask, watching Shoto as he reads in the common room.

We hadn't talked in those three days either, and this new feeling of uncertainty with him left me feeling queasy and drained.

Looking up at me, he nodded his head before closing his book and rising from the couch. "Which assignment?" he asked.

"Japan Hero History lessons, I would ask Deku but he's out. Let's go to my room if that's okay, it's loud down here," I responded, turning around and heading toward the elevator at the back of the hallway. 

The common room was busy, everyone seemed to be here this evening, relaxing and hanging out. I'd rather no else find out about Aizawa. 

We didn't speak as we made our way to my room, just across from his. Three days, no words, and he was my front-door neighbor. No wonder he found out, it would be obvious to him if I'm in or out. 

As we walked in I locked the door behind me, watching as Shoto sits on my bed. 

Joining him, I sat across, my legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles next to his thigh.

"I'm guessing there's no assignment," he began, leaning back on my bed's backboard. There's a small frown on his lips.

Shaking my head I give him a small smile, "I wasn't sure how else to get you up here without anyone being nosy." I responded. 

Nodding his head I continued, "I know you know about Aizawa and me. I don't have a defense for myself other than it happened by accident, I do like him, and we're being as careful as can be considering the situation. In all honesty, I only see him at night which I guess is when you would be looking for me," I quietly finish, playing with the end of my sleeves. 

There's a certain look in his eyes now that I hadn't seen before; icey.

"He's about 16 years older than you," Shoto started, "he's our teacher, he's the one in charge of who graduates, and he's responsible for other young students. why is he dating a child?" Shoto finishes, an icy edge to his voice. I feel my eyes sting, the venom in the word child throwing me off.

"He's not some pervert Shoto, for god's sake we haven't even had sex" I hiss at him, my voice straining. This was not the conversation I wanted. 

"Not right now, but I'm sure he kisses you, touches you, and I'm sure he's thinking of you when he's in the shower," Shoto responds, and there's almost a chill in my room now. As if his anger is cooling the air. "and for god's sake if he's doing it with you, no offense because you know I find you beautiful but you look 16 not an adult, then what's holding him back from that decision?" 

My voice is at a loss because what do I say to that? I never expected Shoto to be so venomous about this. So cruel. Like if I'm stupid.

"I'm not stupid," I whisper, my legs pulled under me now and away from his. He's sitting stiffly, his arms crossed across his chest. 

The chill softens a bit, "I know you're not stupid, but you're in a new world, a new environment, of course you would gravitate towards someone who looks like they can take care of you, but he's taking advantage. This isn't right and you know it. That's why this is a secret."

"He's not taking advantage of me. Shoto I know you care, but this is my decision, and while I may be a student here I'm an adult too, and I can choose to date someone older. When this is all over, school, there's no reason I shouldn't date him." I respond, but my voice feels tired and I'm upset Shoto thinks this negatively about Aizawa. 

"Why him?" he asks. The chill from my room is gone, but there's still a frown on his face.

"I'm not sure... we just... clicked. it just makes sense" I respond because truly I don't know what caused it. It was like I saw him and just decided he would be it. 

I know this doesn't appease Shoto, he still looks upset. "I don't approve of it, though I know that means nothing. I just wish you would have gone for someone... less complicated." he finished. his eyes are staring past me now, looking outside the balcony windows. 

I sit there for a moment, but I hold myself from asking the question that wants to come out.

Is he the less complicated option?

"I know, but I just need to know you're still there for me as a friend. I'm more than someone who dating Aizawa, I'm still (y/n)." I reply, and I move from my spot to sit next to him, our shoulders knocking against one another.

A small smile taps on his face before he sighs, "I know, I'll just... pretend I don't know. It'll be for the best." he responds quietly. 

"There is one other thing..." I say quietly. 

His head turns to me, an eyebrow raised. "what more can you have?" he responds sarcastically. 

"I've been asked to help on a mission coming up, under your dad's agency. They want me for medic support and rescue. It was recommended I practice some forms of combat in case I need to protect myself or someone else." I respond, my voice quiet and my nerves beginning to come through again.

I felt my legs begin to bop up and down, the anxiety of the situation arising.

"I don't think I can do it..." I whisper, my voice a little strained. 

Shoto wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me in, my head making its way onto his chest as I try to calm my breathing.

"I don't think I should be in this class. So what if I can kick anyone's ass in the gym or some stupid event, that's not a real fight!" I mumble, my words coming out quickly, and my face heating up. 

I feel Shoto's hand as he rubs my hair, shushing me as I feel an anxiety attack happening. I hadn't gone there since my parents passed. 

As I paid attention to Shoto's mumblings and matched my breathing to his I felt myself calm down.

"Did Aizawa ask you to join this?" he asked quietly, although I noticed the strain back in his voice from our earlier fight.

"You're dad," I responded. I know I was technically lying, but I also wasn't. It had been his dad's idea. "you mentioned me to him, and he told Aizawa to bring me in." I mumbled, my face still against his chest. 

As I began to calm I noticed the position we were in. Too much, if Shouta walked in right now I know he would be upset. Slowly I lifted my head off Shoto, smoothing my hair as I rested against the bed backboard again.

"I just need help training, if you can't it's okay, I'll ask Bakugo," I said. 

"I'll do it, meet me in the gym starting tomorrow every day at 9 after dinner." He responds, and as though he senses my unease with how close we had gotten, he gets off the bed and grabs his things before leaving, closing the door behind him.

Why did it all have to be so complicated?