What was I made for ?..

Im so tired of being ' the girl that I am

Im still in the garage, my phone turned off the only solace I have right now is my radio and this beautiful car. I've been drowning in Alex's words would she really do that to me just to get Charles back?

Im slowly dissociating myself from reality. It's my only option.

I will play my role, the role I was made for and I will play it well. I will be Charles wife, I will pose for photos, attend the Grand Prix, never fight back, I won't ask questions, refuse his gifts, keep him at arms length. I will love him from afar.

Remember they bought you for him.

Maybe Alex is right, I don't deserve him, I mean he doesn't even know who I am. The person he loves is just a shell, controlled by Ferrari and her mother. A girl who's spent so long in a cage she's the tamest animal. I don't even feel real... What was I made for?..

Im under the car right now, checking for any signs of damage. So many thoughts consuming me... What if I just lay here ? It will have to fall at some point right? Let something I love be the reason I die, it will be the best way. If I lose Charles I'm as good as dead anyway. Ferrari won't keep me around holding on to all these secrets.

Who knows charles might even kill me himself. He wasn't a good person when he was with Alex before, maybe if she wins him back he'll find the strength to do it. I would accept that, I would deserve that. I've ruined this boy. Alex was right. I know she was. I drop the torch and spanner that was once in my hands. Its just me and the car.

I lay there for what feels like hours, the darkness soothing any remaining pain I felt. Now i'm just numb. Im nothing. Ive always been nothing, and I will never be anything.

Suddenly my eyes are blinded by the sun. Im no longer under the car, embracing my darkness. No i'm out in the open a tall silhouette standing over me. Im looking but I'm not seeing. I can see the light fade away as the person get closer to me, my brain still not registering what's happening.

Their hands creating a tight grip on my arms pulling me up of my creeper. Im now face to face with the person in front me, I see another figure appearing from behind.

"Mila..." A voice spoke, full of concern.

"Mila, please can you hear me!" Their voice getting louder, I feel my body hit theirs as the other figure begins to speed up.

"Bella, Please" their final cry breaking me from my trance.

I examine the two people before me its Lando and Toto...

Toto.

What's he doing here? Lando must have told hum. Fuck.

"Lando? Lando what are you doing here and why did you bring him?" my tone harsh.

I push away from him. I see his face drop but I feel nothing.

"Lando I asked you as question?"

"Bella, you asked me to pick up the jolly remember..." His words were broken.

"So why did you bring him?" I say pointing to my father, who was blissfully unaware that his daughter didn't want him here. As much as I longed for him before. Now wasn't the time. Now that the secret out I can't be seen anywhere near him. He is going to be the reason I die. Im so fucking stupid for hoping he would come back, for having hope that he would remember. I should've burnt those photos with the memories I had left of him.

"I was grabbing coffee with him, then I told him how you had finished. I thought you would be happy seeing as he recommended you." he reaches out to me, putting his hands again on my arm.

I could see it in his eyes he knew something was different.

To him My eyes were dark, my touch cold.