Feeling Again-Mattheo Riddle;Book 2

Chapter 34: Don't Say Sorry

TW: Self Harm 

"They're not there," I remark, looking at my throat in the mirror. I turn back to a guilt-stricken Mattheo. His arms were crossed around his body and he was looking down at the floor. 

"I healed them," he muttered softly. He refused to look up from the tile on the floor. I'm sure the guilt was wrecking him. "I'm sorry." I move to step closer to him but he just backs away closer to the door. "Don't." 

"Please," I stutter out. I reach out and gently pull him back. "Don't feel sorry. If you didn't do that, who knows what mental state I would've been in afterwards. You stopped me from doing something unspeakable. Don't you dare apologize." 

"I should've figured out another way. I- I mean me and Loren could've figured something out. He would've figured something out!" 

"And by the time you two did, I would've killed Tyler." I let go of Mattheo's arm, feeling disgusting for even being in his vicinity. "I should be the one apologizing." I slide down onto the ground, looking at my cut up arms. "You shouldn't have intervened. If I had just... just left this world, nothing would've happened and you wouldn't have to deal with me!" I cried out. 

He sat down next to me and wrapped me in his arms, radiating his warmth onto me. "Don't say that. Please don't say that, I would be so lost without you." He started coughing and I felt the tears coming to his face. "Don't run away again. Don't do any of that stuff to yourself again," he sobbed. 

"I'm sorry for betraying you," I cooed out. I cried into his arms, knowing our relationship would never be the same again. "I'm not healthy for you, you need to let go of me Mattheo," I cried out. 

He shook his head, which I felt as it was on top of mine. "Never." He squeezed me tighter, as if he were scared I would run off again at any moment. "We'll get through it together."

I failed again that night. I couldn't control myself and the intrusive thoughts won over. Glancing around, there was nothing sharp around me. Of course there wasn't, he knows what I will do if it was. His two arms were around my waist, and holding me to his chest. All my thoughts were jumbling in my head, and I couldn't focus on a single thing. My brain hurt, my chest hurt. I could feel Voldemort creeping in, and if I couldn't keep myself center, he would enter and throw me into another personal hell. The closest things I could find were my nails. 

Using my nails, I push deep into my skin. It hurts when I press so hard, a few drops of blood come out. It helps me regain focus before falling into a blunder of chaos and guilt for having to follow this pattern to focus. I cried as silently as possible, before feeling Mattheo rouse behind me. He moved by hands and held them in his. He rested his head in my shoulder and sat there for a minute, just letting me know he was there. "I'm here," he muttered softly. 

Tyler's POV: 

I wake up in an unfamiliar room. As my vision adjusts slightly, I notice the blue decoration around the room. I groan and force myself to sit up, but even that is difficult with how incapicated I am. 

"Morning, Loren." 

"Don't 'Morning Loren' me," he scoffed out. He pulled up a chair in front of his bed and sat on it. "Let's make one thing clear. We didn't save you because you deserve to live." 

I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh please, I know better than to flatter myself." 

"Here's what's going to happen," he stated with a tone of finality. "You're going to write a letter to Headmaster Dumbledore, telling him you are withdrawing your enrollment from Hogwarts. And then, you're going to disappear far from here. You've caused enough problems for everyone in Hogwarts." 

I throw my head back and enter a laughing fit. "And what? You're going to use the killing curse on me or some shit? Won't that undo all the bad you've 'undone.'"

"Dumbledore is doing a favor letting a death eater go to this school. Suppose he finds out what happened. Forget getting expelled. The entire ministry will be after you. Leave on your own terms." 

I glared at him, hating how every single word he was saying was correct.  

"Fine. But I have a few conditions of my own." 

Snow's POV: 

"You're not scared of me?" I squeaked out. 

He continued brushing my hair with his fingers, which soothed me. "Why would I be scared of you?" 

"I killed all those death eaters. I used the killing curse. I did so much I shouldn't have! Those curses are unforgivable, and I did it without blinking." 

He kissed my forehead, before continuing trying to get me to sleep again. "I'll never be scared of you," be whispered as I faded back into sleep. 

I'm back y'all! I was gone forever cause of school. Expect bi-monthly to monthly updates from now on. 

Now I like this chapter personally, I would love to hear y'alls thoughts. For those confused what Mattheo was sorry abt at the beginning, he had to physically restrain her, as in choke her to the point of passing out because she was stronger than him from a magic standpoint. Hope that makes sense! 

Also, I might be hosting a Q&A sorta thing? If you have questions about the final book in the series, future work, the characters, anything, ask them! I'm bored anyways hehe