Feeling Again-Mattheo Riddle;Book 2

Chapter 31: The Girls' Lavatory

TW: Mentions of drugs and self harm

He didn't deny it. He never said it wasn't true. And that's because we both knew how big of a fucking coward I was. The silence following my words echoed throughout the room. 

He was asleep now. The room was dark and he was on the bed. I refused to stay on the bed and shifted myself on the ground when he offered. It took all his energy to not burst out in anger at me, because I could hear his heavy breaths as he slept restlessly. I stared up at the ceiling, trying to make out the patterns that danced across the uneven texture of the pain. 

I glanced over to Mattheo, knowing that if there was anything I wanted to get done, tonight was the night. From tomorrow, I probably wouldn't be able to leave his sight for a single second. This is the only night where he would be distracted enough for me to do what I promised myself I'd do weeks ago. 

Slowly, I moved out of the blanket situation I had on the ground and stood up, making as little noise as possible. If the one I was looking for was anywhere, it would be the abandoned girls bathroom. I tiptoed into the bathroom and my wand was exactly where I expected he would hide it, in the cabinet beneath the sink. 

It was as if he wasn't even trying. 

After I retrieved my wand, I gently made my way over to the door of Mattheo's dorm. I glanced over at his tensed body. His eyebrows were scrunched and a scowl was upon his face. His hands were balled into fists on the sheets. I sighed, and walked over to my boyfriend. Well, is he my boyfriend anymore? I didn't know. 

I softly placed my hands on his, and they relaxed slightly, no longer gripping the sheets. I lingered over his glory for another moment before finally getting the courage to leave. As I closed the door gently behind me, I paused for a moment, feeling the eerie silence around me. I walked down the stairs and too the door of the clubhouse, stepping out into the empty hallways. 

My feet guided me to the abandoned girls bathroom. It was muscle memory at this point. 

His figure turned around at the sound of my footsteps. He was sitting against the bathroom wall, a joint in his hand as he stared at the wall right in front of him, as if it were some wonderful painting. As soon as I materialized into his sight, his eyes widened frantically, and turned more red than from being high. 

"What? Scared? Of me? And I thought you were the one I should be scared of," I teased in a mellow voice. 

"Let's not do things we regret, Snow." 

I shake my head as I approach is cowering body slowly. "All these years, I thought you could hurt me. But then that day in the apartment, you saw me and you ran. For the first time in what feels like forever, I finally had control over what you did to me! I had control over you." 

"Don't get ahead of yourself darling. I left not because I was scared, but because I know how to pick my battles. I know how to survive for the next one!" he spat out as the crazy of his high showed on his face. 

"Then stand up. Make me cower away into a ball of loneliness and dismay with your intimidating glare and your demeanor." He shot me a look of mock intimidation. "Well c'mon, if you're such a big guy, then go for it." 

The shock of my words must've still been hitting him when I decided my patience was running far too thin. "Missed your chance." Before he could even blink, the light above him came crashing down just centimeters away from him. He yelped and got up, grabbing for his wand from his back pocket and holding it out. 

"You insane bitch!" He shrieked out while throwing a spell back at me which I quickly countered. 

"Damn fucking straight! I don't know what the hell I am anymore. So yeah, insane bitch sounds about right for now." 

I inflicted a spell about him that he just barely dodged before casting another one that sent him flying to the wall behind him. 

"Don't worry Tyler, I know you don't like it when someone ruins that fun. That's why I casted a silencing spell the moment I stepped in here." I smirked again, not knowing who the person that was in my body was right now. But it felt so good to release everything. It felt great to not give a damn about anyone right now except me. It felt terrific to be a selfish, insane bitch. Every time I interacted with that soul sucker, an entirely different side of me came out to the surface. This entire time, I didn't need drugs or cuts to stop feeling pain, I just needed to get rid of the source. Tyler's wand was now out of his hand and he was back on the ground. He slid to the wall behind him and tried to hide his shuddering hands. "Why so scared? I thought we were having our little fun." 

"Please. Look, this isn't what you are! You don't kill people, you aren't like me." 

I scoffed at him thinking that that is what I was thinking. "I know I'm not like you. You don't need to state the obvious. You obliterate everything around you like a child in a playpen, I get rid of the problem. And you, Tyler, are a pretty big fucking problem." I chuckled for a moment. "Alright, enough of beating around the bush. I'm not completely merciless, again, I'm not you. So I'll let you have a choice in what happens to you. Why don't you choose a number between 1 and 3..." His eyes immediately lit up and in more fear. His pupils dilated as he realized his fate. He shook his head, his lip began to quiver as tears began rolling down his eyes. "Oh, don't cry Tyler. You haven't even chose yet. C'mon, don't make me choose, I won't let you out that easy." 

"T-two," he stuttered out. I sighed, realizing he chose likely the least painful option. 

"Ah, you're so fucking high you won't even notice a damn thing." He shuddered and began to cry harder than I'd ever seen anyone cry. "Oh, who knew you had emotions?"

"Please-" he croaked out. 

I held out my wand at him, not letting my hand shake whatsoever. "Let me cherish this moment here Tyler, it might take a while for me to say the spell." 

"Avada..." I put my wand back down and chuckled again. God I really was going mad. I put out my arm again and prepared to cast the spell. "Avada-" 

The next thing I knew, my arms were pinned behind my back and my wand fell to the ground. 

Well... book 3 is currently in the process of being planned... 

Would anyone like to suggest title names? i would appreciate some because as of now, I don't have the best ideas... 

As the final part of this goes on, there will be small updates about book 3 being sharedddd. 

Also, I'm aware this isn't 5k words, but that chapter will be out soon, I promise. But not the next update likely. 

And this chapter is a bit of a mess hehe... sorry.