Feeling Again-Mattheo Riddle;Book 2

Chapter 34: Anti-Hero

Shit. Shit, shit shit. I'm such an idiot! But no, it's his fault for burning those letters. But what the fuck, did I really have to be that harsh? But then again, he was really fucking shitty about that. 

Ugh. I flop down onto the couch in the common room and internally wither away into a million little pathetic pieces. I feel someone's presence over me and almost cry out when I see an upside down distorted figure. 

"Holy shit Harry!" 

"Sorry, but you look like pathetic. What happened?" He flops down right next to me. 

"Thanks Harry, I can always count on you to cheer me up!" I say sarcastically. 

"That's what I'm here for. But seriously, what happened."  

"Long story short, Mattheo burned my already broken ex boyfriend's letters with his emotions on it. He didn't tell me. And Mattheo kind of burst out. I feel like an idiot for yelling at him. Why the fuck do I have to be so goddamn shitty!" 

He snorts. "I don't think you're the shitty one here, Snow. He's the one that burned those letters! You had every right to be angry at him for doing that." 

"Ok, but I shouldn't be that upset that Loren had to go through that. I mean, Loren is my ex." 

"Doesn't mean you can't care about him. Mattheo did something wrong, and it doesn't matter who he did it to," he said. I thought about what Harry said for a moment. He wasn't wrong. At all. 

"At the same time though, I feel so bad for constantly telling everyone he's a good person, and obviously they laugh at me because he's Voldy's son. And I just keep defending him and then he doesn't something horrible like this. That's not to say this is on the tier of his father, but I mean considering how much I defend him, it makes me feel really stupid." Once I finish my rant, I grab a nearby pillow and bury it into my face. "Why am I like this! Screw love." 

Harry pauses. "Love?" 

I remove the pillow from my face. "Yes Harry. Love. I know you have no love life so you wouldn't know, but when people get in a relationship, the goal is to love each other!" 

He scoots slightly closer to me. "Does he know you love him?" 

"I dunno." I think for a minute before snapping out of it. "I shouldn't be thinking of that right now, I'm supposed to be mad at him." 

He tries suppressing a laugh which makes me even more annoyed. 

"What's so funny?" 

"Not saying you're not in your right to be angry, but seeing you try to force anger is so goddamn funny." 

I throw the pillow at him. "Knock off, Harry." After he starts laughing, I can't help but laugh along as well. It's so ridiculous. All of it. Once we finish laughing, I begin speaking again. "Thanks, Harry."  

Back in my room, while I'm trying to braid Ginny's hair, I know the anger for Mattheo is still there, so I'm just waiting for him to apologize for being all rude. I'll apologize for my burst out once he apologizes to me and Loren.  Mostly Loren. He's the victim here. Ginny became aware of the situation between me and him, but I stopped her from further talking about it. Once I finished braiding her hair, she turned around with a smile on her face. 

"I did something," she said while blushing. 

"What is it..." 

"I- you know the girl I went on a date with?" I nodded, remembering her mentioning it. "We've been going on dates for like two weeks and started officially dating a week or so ago, and then today, when I went to visit her, we uhm-" 

I felt like I knew was coming and a goofy smile already begun creeping up onto my face. "SPIT IT OUT!" 

"WE KISSED! WE KISSED! It's my first time kissing a girl, and it's even better that I'm literally nuts for her. She's so fucking hot, I swear. Everyone sees her as a psycho but she's so much deeper than that." 

"I'm so fucking proud of you Ginny. Literally, what the fuck, you're so lucky!" 

"I know! And tomorrow, she's taking me on a surprise date. She's usually a bit more shy about romantic things so this is so exciting!!" 

I smiled, genuinely excited for her.  " I haven't seen you this ecstatic in months, Ginny, it's amazing." 

"I swear I'll tell you who she is once we're kind of in a more stable place. I just want to enjoy the young stages of the relationship first, you know?" 

"Don't feel pressured to do anything. All I care is that you're really happy right now!" 

She smiled before getting up. "I'll see you later, yeah?" She asked. 

"Mhm."  After she left, I was stuck in my room, extremely bored. Ginny was having the time of her life and I'm here in an argument with my boyfriend, who hasn't even owled me yet. I'm in no mood to stay in my dorm the entire night, so I plan to go out at midnight. Not the astronomy tower since he'll be there, but probably the classroom where the Mirror of Erised used to be. 

Midnight: 

At midnight, I start making my way outside, wearing Harry's invisibility cloak. Once I make it to the room and verify that the coast is clear, I take of the cloak and sit down. I'm not doing much except sitting there, hearing the sounds of the wind and owls outside the window. Eventually, I get a bit bored and take out my wind and start drawing in the air. It's always entertaining. After a while though, I just want to enjoy the stillness. 

For around an hour, I want to say, I was enjoying peace and quiet when I heard light footsteps entering the room. I quickly toss the invisibility cloak over my head, worrying it's a professor, but am relieved when I see it's Mattheo. I don't think he saw me, but he's looking around the room. 

"Snow?" He whispered out. "Are you here?" I don't respond, I just stay quiet, I don't know why. "Maybe I'm being stupid, but it's as if I feel like you're in here. If you're here at least walk out so I'm not standing here like an idiot." 

Reluctantly, I take off the cloak and mutter softly, "hey." 

He turns around and sees me huddled in the corner. "There you are. I was worried when I didn't see you at the astronomy tower!" He slowly made his way over and sat next to me, keeping a fair amount of distance between us. "Uhm. I think an apology is in order. What I did is shitty, and nothing I say will change that fact. And um, I'm also really sorry for yelling at you. That wasn't warranted. I'll try to improve." I look away from my hands and up at him. I know he is sorry, and that I shouldn't really be mad at him, but I still feel stupid. He very slowly moves over a bit closer to me. "And thank you." 

He reaches for my hand slowly and holds it against both of his hands. "For believing in me. It was stupid of me to try and break your trust, and for that I'm really sorry." 

"It's ok." I continue looking at him, not smiling, but I meant what I said. I forgave him. 

Hey guys! Thanks for reading. I posted the Tom Riddle fanfiction I was talking bout lmao so if u wanna check it out :)) 

https://www.wattpad.com/story/326731245-%EF%BD%83%EF%BD%92%EF%BD%99%EF%BD%90%EF%BD%94%EF%BD%89%EF%BD%83-a-tom-riddle-fanfiction 

Also, who do you think Ginny's dating? Lmk!