अर्जुनप्रिया - Arjuna's beloved.
They had dreamt of a life with each other, for each other, and in each other, but the said life made them face the reality that they had to stay apart from each other for twelve long years. Those young hearts who cou...
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It took four years for Arjuna to balance his emotions with his austerity and to master the art of detachment. It wasn't like he had actually become detached from his loved ones but he became able to deal with his present with more toleration than before. His mind was less inclined towards chaos and was more inclined towards spirituality. He adapted himself fully into the path of exile and did not experience as much pull towards Indraprastha as before.
He still missed his family and wanted to go back to them but not before the twelve year exile period. He gathered the equanimity and the patience that is required for the remaining eight years of his exile in the past four years. The advice of Ulupi to make peace with his feelings for Krishnaa and not run away from them, aided him in fructifying his penance to the best extent that he was capable of. He realized that averting one's attention from feelings never helps one achieve self-restraint. It is when they are speculated and solved, that we become free of their effect.
His pilgrimage and austerity were going fine but there was one regret that remained with him through the passing years and that's his inability to share the news of his marriage with Ulupi with his family members, especially with Krishnaa, on his own. He had informed everything to the Brahmana travellers at Gangadvara as he had known that they would take the news to Indraprastha. He wanted his mother, his brothers and his wife to be informed about this important development in his life. But it was his responsibility to let his first wife know about his second marriage directly from him and if not, at least through a direct message from him. But all that he could manage to send her was indirect news.
It's not like he hadn't contemplated the idea of a direct message but he had any safe way to send any personal message to his wife. Previously, Kalindi had carried his message and she had maintained their privacy but there was no such trusted person with him to take his message to Krishnaa again. If he trusted any outsider with their personal messages, it could be risky to his and Krishnaa's reputation, in the delicate situation they were bound in.
What if the messenger turnedout to be deceptiveandspread misinformation about them? The entire purpose of his exile would go in vain then. The honor of not just himself and Krishnaa, but the honor of Pandu Kula was at stake, and he wasn't willing to take that risk. He hoped that she would understand him and his hope was his lone saving grace at the face of such helplessness. It's not that his hope was unrivalled, there were times when uncertainty crept up into his heart, and he feared how she would have reacted to the news and what she would be thinking about him.
He usually managed to invalidate his apprehensions with his belief on his love that she understands him like no other. He might speak one word but she listens to everything that he intends through that one word. But Krishnaa demands that he speak at least that one word. She doesn't appreciate ignorance and silence at any cost. That's the reason he was worried about the lack of communication between them. But he also knew that it was inevitable to act according to the circumstances sometimes. His wife might be assertive but she was also adaptive, and she will surely understand when he will explain his situation to her later.
