Unfixable

Bath Day

Nines shot up in his cot with a chilling jolt, panting breathlessly as he looked around, rubbing his face. He was in his tent at the resting camp. Markus was sound asleep in the cot beside his, likely just returned from his shift. He flopped back in relief, slowing his restless breaths and resting an arm across his tired eyes. He could have sworn he'd heard Gavin. His body felt disgusting. The lingering cold sweat remained. He could just barely remember the horror of the night before. The persistent, nightmarish memory that haunted him.

He'd jumped over the top, trudged relentlessly through the rotting sludge to where Gavin lay. He remembered turning him over this time to find faded, vacant eyes staring back. His breath had caught, body frozen as he'd stared down in disbelief. It wasn't right! It wasn't supposed to be that way! He'd let out a small sob as he'd desperately clawed at Gavin's face, pushing the cloying mud aside to get a look at his pale lips. His mouth hung limp, breathless and unmoving. That wasn't what happened! That wasn't how I found him! He had to repeat it over and over to chase the nightmare away. Gavin is safe...He's alive and well...

The dream had circled somewhat, looping and trapping him in a never-ending cycle of death and despair, taunting and mocking him with all the things that may have happened. But they didn't...Gavin was alive when I found him. Connor got him back in time...He survived and he's safe. He reached for the picture at his bedside and stared at it for reassurance. It was Gavin. The picture was barely a few weeks old. He was alive and well. He'd write to him again soon. Perhaps he'd have news to share. It would certainly be better than anything he had to say.

He'd lost another three patients to the fever still ravishing their ranks. The recruits they'd been promised still hadn't arrived. Sixty was currently battling a fever. They'd kept on top of his infection, so it wasn't that. He could only assume he'd caught the flu while walking around the camp. I should have been stricter about him staying in bed...He couldn't blame himself. Sixty had a will of his own. He was reckless, like Gavin. He smiled at the thought. His reckless streak had been one of the main attractions. It was like he'd needed a more level head to even it out.

He turned his head with a fond sigh. It was grey out. Dawn hadn't even broken yet. He closed his eyes and listened. It was peaceful. He could hear the murmuring voices of men on their rounds, probably heading for breakfast at this early hour. There was the clinking of pots and pans. Tent flaps flapping in the breeze. Water pouring in the dirt. Grass crunching underfoot. Boots. A truck. That was all. No gunfire. No shells. No fearful yells or moans of agony. He couldn't help feeling relieved. It probably wouldn't last. His stomach dropped at the thought. Assaults came in waves, and they'd only taken one so far. It was likely quiet because they were preparing for the second. Could it be that they're just as under manned as we are? He hoped so. He also hoped their reinforcements were just as poorly organised.

Now that he was awake, and with that nightmare still hanging over him, he knew he wouldn't go back to sleep. Getting up to start his day, he headed for the latrine first, relieved to find there wasn't a queue this early in the morning. He was in and out relatively quickly and returned to his tent to grab his toothbrush and water cannister. Shaking it, he found he still had a little left from the night before. He put a squeeze of paste on his brush before putting it straight in his mouth and wandering to the treeline. Many soldiers were lax in their dental hygiene. However, as a doctor, he knew better. After he finished, he rinsed his brush and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

He closed his eyes a moment, enjoying the cool morning breeze as it ruffled his hair and swept through the leaves with a gentle rustle. Birds were singing. A rarity. He wasn't sure whether he just failed to notice it during their worst periods or if the birds abandoned the trees with all the fighting going on. He envied them being free enough to fly away. The camp was louder as he returned, and somewhat excited. He wasn't sure why, but a good mood seemed to have swept through in his absence. Luckily, Connor was already in the dining tent, ready to enlighten him.