Unfixable

Outside

"We've been lying here for an hour...Let's go outside now, yeah?" Nines' voice was soft as he tried to coax him into a more wakeful state. Gavin whined quietly as he rolled over, facing away from him and burying his face in the pillow. He was sore and tired. The last thing he wanted was to be surrounded by a bunch of invalids, being constantly reminded of his own status, and having to deal with people he didn't know. He could handle the maids coming and going. They did their job and politely left him to his misery. What he didn't want was some simpering nurse coaxing him to try harder and look on the bright side. There was no fucking bright side. His life was over. "You'll feel better once we get outside, I promise..." Breathing fresh air wouldn't bring his leg back.

He didn't know why Nines cared so much. It wasn't like he'd be sticking around long term to deal with this shit. He was on temporary leave for a few weeks and then he'd be back on the front. He'd probably find someone else within a week. The thought sent a wave of despair crashing through his chest. He stiffened as he felt a gentle hand settled on his spine, pressing and teasing the tense flesh. He couldn't help relaxing as gentle fingers worked his muscles, relaxing him further into the mattress. He let out a low groan as Nines' body pressed up behind and soft lips teased his bare shoulder.

"Please?" Gavin turned his head a little at the gentle plea, coming face to face with Nines' big blue eyes and hopeful expression. It should be illegal for anyone to look at him like that. He returned his face to the pillow with a grumble, gripping the cotton stubbornly. "I'll be with you the whole time." Nines nuzzled his neck and shoulder as he offered kisses and compromises. Gavin didn't want to go outside. He really didn't. He didn't want to see the others, and he didn't want them to see him. At the same time, he knew Nines was really worried, and he was trying so hard. He glanced at the window. It was a nice day. Blue sky and sunshine. It was pretty quiet as well. Besides a few birds and distant voices, there was nothing. Silence...

"Phck, alright! But if I don't like it, we come back after thirty minutes." Fear and resentment were already bundling in the pit of his stomach. He had no mobility of his own. He was dependent on Nines. Once he was outside, he had no control over when he returned. If Nines decided he wouldn't bring him back, then he'd be stuck. He turned his head enough to gauge Nines' reaction. He seemed relieved that he'd at least agreed to leave the room. "Thirty minutes."

"Agreed." Nines didn't want to push him too hard. Elijah said he hadn't left the room since his arrival. Thirty minutes was a start. "I'll get your clothes." The one good thing about being discharged was that he didn't have to wear that scratchy service uniform ever again. Nines helped him pull on some pants and trousers. He said nothing as he rolled the empty leg and set it neatly over his knee. Gavin glared at the stump. He could still feel that dull throb where the shell had seared his flesh. He tried not to think about it, hoping that would lessen the pain. He pulled on the white shirt he was given and tucked it in neatly. Nines got dressed, too. He dressed down for the day. He was off duty, and didn't want to draw undue attention to himself.

Once he was ready to go out, Nines grabbed the wheelchair that had been left against the wall. Gavin glared at it. He hated the fact that he needed it at all. He didn't have enough balance to stand on his own yet. He needed to start physio and get used to crutches first. After that, he knew his brother would have all sorts of fancy gadgets to foist on him. Nines was gentle as he lifted him beneath the arms and helped manoeuvre him into the chair. It wasn't the most comfortable way to travel, but it was his only choice for now.

"Let's take a turn about the garden...If you're hungry afterwards, we can eat out on the patio," Nines suggested as he turned the chair and headed for the door. Gavin grumbled his reluctant agreement and glared at the floor as he was pushed around like a kid in a buggy. He felt his heart pick up as Nines opened the door. He hadn't left the room since his arrival. He didn't even know how many people were in the house. How many would see him like this? Would he know any of them? He fisted his hands in his lap as Nines steered him into the hall. There was no one. He couldn't even hear anything.