Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 45: Everything Everywhere All at Once

"You lied to me." The air was thick with tension as Alyssa looked between Winter and Keisha. The betrayals were still very much so at the forefront of everyone's minds. It had been days since the truth was exposed and Alyssa looked as much of a mess as expected.

 Winter knew Matvei and Mikhail looked the same after seeing them the night before. Mikhail looked lost and disheveled, while Matvei was busy brooding and hiding behind booze. Mikhail had been staying with Matvei to be closer to Alyssa even though she wouldn't see or speak to either of them.

"Yes. We lied." Winter spoke up finally. "It wasn't our secret to tell, Alyssa." Alyssa glared at her angrily. "That's bullshit and you know it! You sat there and watched me fall in love with criminals! My God, the whole fiasco with Eric and Jean Louis was because of their ties to the mafia."

Keisha raised up a finger before speaking. "We don't actually know that. Those two seem to have an interest in you that goes beyond the guys. Yes we lied, but we also sat back and watched our dearest friends fall in love with a woman who failed to disclose her mental illness."

Alyssa looked at her before looking down at her hands. She was so tired of crying. Tears constantly welled in her eyes. "You're right." Alyssa finally breathed out. Silence hung over them. "I feel crazy." Alyssa whispered before choking back a sob.

Winter was going to say something flagrant, but Keisha pinched her arm. "I have no right to be mad at them, do I? They lied, but so did I. I hid who I really am to the men that I love. How could I do that? How could I be so stupid as to think that I could control my parts forever?"

Keisha's heart broke as Alyssa broke down. Her sobs pulled at her so much so that she couldn't help but go to her side and pull her into an embrace. "It's going to be okay, bestie." Alyssa shook her head before removing herself from Keisha's arms.

"How can you say that? How are we best friends when we lied to one another? How are things ever going to be okay between us or between me and the guys when all we've done is hide who we really are?"

Winter sucked her teeth earning their attention. "You lied. So what! You all were scared and fear makes people do stupid shit all the damn time."

Alyssa sighed at her words. "You have what like a dozen people living inside of you. I know that shit can't be easy, so it makes sense that you'd want to keep that secret. You were willing to do whatever it took to hold onto the little piece of love and stability you finally found. Anyone in your shoes would do the same."

Winter moved to kneel in front of Alyssa. "However, I can say the same for both Mikhail and Matvei. They love you so much and the fear of losing you led them to lying which is wrong, but you can understand their reasoning now can't you?"

Alyssa looked into her brown eyes before nodding slowly. "And we ARE best friends because we love you. The lies hurt, but they didn't taint the bigger picture. We love you, girl. You and your peanut gallery." Alyssa shook her head softly.

Winter held her hands in hers. The look in her eyes let Alyssa know her next words were serious. "Matvei kills people from time to time. Mikhail hacks and steals from time to time. Are they criminals linked to the mafia? Yes. Are they a danger to you? No. They're just Matvei and Mikhail. Your men. The men you gave your heart to and theirs to you in return. See them not the job."

Keisha nodded her head before speaking. "See them, but also see yourself. You're you, Alyssa, not your disorder. You're simply a beautiful Black woman with a little add seasoning for flair and chutzpah." Alyssa let out a watery chuckle.

Keisha smiled at them before pulling them both into a big hug. "We're sorry for lying, Alyssa. We really are, but you have to see that these lies had to come from the source." Keisha said honestly after a beat. Alyssa nodded her head. "I know and I'm sorry too. I should've told you both at least, but you were my first real friends and I was scared of losing you."