Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 25: It's A Wonderful Life

"Babe. Did I really just call her babe?" Matvei admonished himself. It hadn't even been a full twenty-four hours and he was already moving differently thanks to a certain dark skinned beauty.

As he grabbed his hidden stash of sugar cookies from his bathroom he couldn't help but chuckle. He loved that she didn't question his cookie hideout or make fun of him for hiding them in the first place.

It was yet another thing to add to the ever growing PRO list for Alyssa Noelle Jacobs. Matvei grabbed the milk from the fridge and headed across the street to Alyssa's. He took slow deliberate steps as his anxiety mounted.

"Am I really going to do this? Am I really choosing to pursue something with her?" The doubt enveloped him like a suffocating blanket as he got closer and closer to Alyssa's home.

"I've gone against Italian mobsters. Romanian drug lords. German underbosses. None of them were as scary as this." He muttered as he stood in front of her door attempting to fight a panic attack.

Matvei thought on Alyssa and despite the smile that wanted to blossom he couldn't help but worry about what choosing her would mean for him overall. He would have to fight himself at every turn. He would have to wonder if he was good enough should she choose to be with him along with his brother.

Matvei had faced many dangers in his life that would have any sane man quaking in his boots, but this was something entirely different. This was the most true life or death situation he had ever been in.

Him choosing Alyssa and her choosing him in return was life. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of her being his. The idea of him being worthy enough to be desired by someone as amazing as her was baffling.

The intrusive thoughts took this opportunity to offer scenarios in which Alyssa didn't choose him and he was forced to live without her as his. Those images quickly equated to death. A death to a hope and joy that he desperately wanted, but knew deep down that he didn't deserve. 

"You can do this, Matvei. Don't make this fucking difficult. Tell her how you feel and go from there for fuck's sake!" He scolded himself before taking deep breaths. "You've dealt with Luca Di Viao and Luciano Rossi. They're far scarier than Alyssa, so get it together."

He took another deep breath for good measure before entering his code and walking into her home. He smiled at the way Alyssa had turned the show house into something lived in and warm.

He could hear soft music playing from upstairs as he made his way towards the stairs. His steps were still slow but an excited anxiety seemed to be taking over and he welcomed it.

His feet brought him to Alyssa's bedroom door where he watched her play on her phone as she sang absentmindedly. Matvei couldn't describe her voice as being anything other than magical. It simply made his heart happy. He couldn't explain the feeling that washed over him as he listened to her.

"Tell me if you want me to give you all my time...I wanna make it good for you 'cause you blow my mind...I promise, boy, that I'll be true, you're the perfect find...So tell me if you want me to..."

She continued to surprise him and as she sang along with Amel Larrieux of Groove Theory, Matvei realized he had yet another thing to add to his PRO list.

"You going to stand there all night or are you going to give me my cookies?" Alyssa said not taking her eyes off of her phone. Matevi rolled his eyes at her. "Your cookies? I don't recall you going to the store and buying them."

Alyssa set her phone down and looked at him with a smirk. "Yes, they are my cookies. You will learn soon enough Matthew that what is yours is mine and what is mine is ours. Now give them here." She made grabby hands at him before whining in protest.