Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 36: Life is Beautiful

"I know I bought all of that lingerie, but something tells me you were just going to rip it off so here I am in my birthday suit for your viewing pleasure." Alyssa would have giggled at herself but couldn't. The shiver that ran through her as she actually watched Matvei feast on her naked body with his eyes was overwhelming.

She didn't know why she felt so vulnerable. He had seen her in her naked glory before, but this time felt different. They were different. Matvei said things with his eyes that she wasn't ready to hear before, but now... Now, like them, things were different.

Matvei knew he would never look at other women the same. They didn't compare. No one could hold a candle to Alyssa and it both thrilled and angered him. He knew what his parents had wasn't love, but he understood to a degree what it meant to do any and everything for the person that owned you and Alyssa owned him. Mind, body and soul. He was hers and for the first time since getting together, Matvei accepted that.

He undressed in front of her and Alyssa couldn't help but bite her lip. The man was fine. Too fine. His body was chiseled and strong. His face a work of art. When he was completely naked in front of her, it was her turn to devour him with her eyes and Matvei welcomed it.

Alyssa made her way over to him and cupped his cheek in her palm. "You deserve every good thing, Matvei." He began to shake his head but she stopped him. "You do. I want you to know that despite my fears...I love you." He stared wide eyed at her. She wanted to laugh if the situation wasn't so meaningful.

"I won't say it often, but please know that's how I feel about you. I can't promise that I'll love you for the rest of your life but I sure as shit will love you for the rest of mine." Matvei stared into her eyes for a moment before crashing his lips on hers.

Alyssa sensed the vulnerability and desperation behind the kiss and pulled him closer. They stood their lost in one another's arms, locked in a kiss so deep they were unsure where one began and the other ended.

Alyssa walked them over to the bed before she broke the kiss and took a seat. "Come to Mama." She said to his dick earning a laugh. "You're literally insane." Alyssa shot him a look with so much hurt behind it he stilled. "Hey, what's wrong?" Matvei tried to speak but she just shook her head and put on a fake smile.

"Do you want this magnificent dick sucked or what?" She tried to joke. Matvei didn't know what happened but the mood had shifted dramatically. He could see it in her eyes that she could never mask. "Hey," Matvei said as he kneeled in front of her. "Tell me what's wrong."

Alyssa shook her head while holding her fake smile in place. "The only thing wrong is you not giving me my favorite lollipop. Now put out, wench." Matvei sighed before grabbing her hands in his. "Aly." She didn't want to look into his blue eyes but did and her plastered smile fell.

She sighed tiredly. "Talk to me, solnyshko." Alyssa hated how this was affecting her. The day was amazing and the night was proving perfect. The fact remained from this experience alone that her past would always be there to ruin any and every good thing she had.

"I have never gone into full detail about my childhood with you or Mik. You know that I'm an orphan. You know that I grew up in an orphanage. You know that my experiences there weren't all sunshine and rainbows." Matvei nodded his head not knowing where this was going.

"I have really bad anxiety." Alyssa confessed before looking at him. "Really bad. I would have episodes from things that triggered me and a lot of the kids in the orphanage would say I'd never get adopted because I was 'literally insane.' I know you didn't mean it like that, but the thought of you feeling about me like they did does something to me that I can't even voice."