A TOUCH OF DARKNESS

32

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"I'm Romanian." No wonder why he's so fucking hot. "I was born and raised there. I lived there for half of my life until I decided to study in the
United States." He took a sip of the wine I told him not to order and blew off the smoke I glared at him for. Alex is Alex. He does what he does.

"But you speak the greatest American accent..? I thought you were fully American..." I've never heard Alex slip with a different word or a voice that belongs to another nationality. All I heard was just the perfection of an American accent.

Even though I was fully raised by an American mother and born here, my tongue had that tiny flavor of my dad's side.

"I was 19 when I started living here all alone. I'm 35 Viviana..." My jaw dropped, my jaw nearly touched the gleaming and spotless clean floor of this beautiful-looking restaurant.
But what.

"I thought you were 27..." I tried uttering the confusion that just hit me which made him chuckle. Me and Alex have 12 years in between?

"Because of the 1995 tattoo?" He raised a question and I immediately nodded. "That was just my little sister's birthday year..." A warm smile lightened up on my face. Now that was a different Alex tonight. He was a soft guy and in some way had worked hard since he was at such a young age. He left his family to find his future and dreams but in some other way.

Something was wrong..?

"What's her name?" I smiled trying to know more about him as we were on a 'date'. And on dates of course you have to spill everything about yourself. I was excited to hear about him.

Because the Alex I know? Lord Jesus.
He was more like an unknown.

"Alexsandra..." That was cute. They had matching names. I feel like tearing up, he got a tattoo for her and their names? That was adorable. They must love each other so much. "That was her name." My smile tumbled. Was? "She passed away a couple of years ago, I was here and had no idea about her death until I called her boyfriend and asked why she wasn't picking up my calls." My heart ached. "My parents didn't want to devastate my goals by telling me she was gone and decided to change the subjects whenever I asked about her."

"I'm sorry...I had no idea." I reached out to hold his hand as a small supporter. He held it and pulled it up for his lips to kiss. Was Alex always this precious? Ugh. "May I know how she died?"

"She has suffered from cancer for a year or so, the doctors said she had a big chance of surviving, but...she didn't." I held him tauter. Why did I even ask? I should have just changed the topic. I stayed silent and blank.

I couldn't bring myself up to ask him anything else at this moment. I didn't want to. I knew what it's like losing someone very dear and close to you, I knew what it felt like going into their room and they're just not there to bully you or scrub your head aggressively when you exactly told them not to. Or when prom comes and they tell you to stand next to the random guy who just asked you out with a proud smile on their lips.

When they buy you a random grape and ask if you like it and the next day the fridge is filled with grapes. When you have a shoulder to cry on when you feel protected. When you have a dad.

Losing my dad has walked me up there. Into people I didn't want to meet, to people I didn't want to know anything about. To mistakes, I was told not to make. I was fucked up and nobody protected me like my dad did. Of course, my mom was amazing and she cared as much as my dad did. But the father was different from a mother. Mom's take care, dad's protects.