A TOUCH OF DARKNESS

30•

Out of my mind.

I gulped down the thick heart I had middle in my throat and held him tighter, till we were next to the car. He suddenly pushed me off, not so hard that I'd fall, just a little hard to look at me after John opened the door for him.
But that wasn't my fault? Was I supposed to open it too?

"Answer me..." he whined once again. Alex wasn't such a childish person, but maybe the alcohol was just fucking him up..?

"I will...just get in the car first..." had no choice.
I will not allow myself to feel good between his arms again like last time. I will just wait till he falls asleep.

~

"I'll take it from here.." John said after helping me up the stairs and into his room. I gave him a nod as he did a great job helping me out like that and watched him disappear again.

John wasn't such a big help, I had to do everything simply. And even if he tried giving me a hand Alex would hold onto me tighter.

A frown appeared on my face looking at his body still being dressed up. I need mercy.

"Up," I said as I set him straight on this bed and yanked his jacket off. In some way, his eyes have flickered open. He was no longer dizzy and lost. No. He was watching me unbutton his shirt as if the alcohol had washed off his body out of nowhere.

I yanked his blouse off once I had succeeded with all the buttons and laid him back into the soft pillows. A proud smile curled up my lips.

I couldn't enjoy myself for long. What is happening to me? Why did Alex look so...

Good like this?

Staring deep down at his muscles and his perfect-looking body. His sharp jawline his broad shoulders and all the tattoos he had on his smooth golden skin tone. Fucking hell. His sharp-looking abs could cut my fingers any second if I touched it against his will. His long lashes. Have I ever admired Alex for this long?

His lips, and his goddess-looking nose. For a long minute I wanted to devour him into pieces, I wanted to do something to him again while I allowed him to rail my insides and I'd let him rip my skin off between the sharp-looking teeth he bit me with before, I wanted him to kiss and taste me all over his lips. I want him to force the sounds of me till I'm not able to anymore.
I want him inside of me and just-

Fuck what am I even thinking? Am I possessed?
No. That's so wrong...I can't think about Alex like that. Not now. Or ever. I promised to-

"Are you going to stay with me?" His words from earlier tickled my mind and twisted the button in my abdomen. It felt so good and desirable when I felt him talk so deeply into my ear, so warmly that I trembled.

It was so fucking good that my thighs clenched together. I'm ashamed of myself, yes.

I can't stop myself from thinking what I'm doing to him. He was intemperate because of me, he's a mess because of me. He's like this because of me. It's so wrong to think about how badly I wanted him. It was something I never wanted to look back to. And I promise, but...

It felt so right.. so right that I felt like I belonged to him in any way, in some way that I could feel myself throbbing and my thighs clenching together again. It felt so good that I wanted to hide away from him and slide off my pants in a place to never let him know I felt like this again with him. So good that I wanted my fingers deep inside of me and allowed my thoughts to play me off while thinking about him between me. With me. Around me. In me, just anywhere