chapter 34

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Slowly i got up from the hard cold ground that I just spent an hour crying on and limped to the edge of the road, suddenly the school bell rang and hundreds of students flooded out, i quickly ran into a cab and gave him my address.

When I got in, i ran to the bathroom and took a long shower to attempt to relax my strained muscles, the wounds didn't help, my phone began ringing as I pulled my wet hair into a messy bun.
"hello?"
"hey, it's Mrs Edwards, I've been hearing things about how your behaving at school, can we meet up?" she says both sternly and gently.
"I'm not changing my behaviour" i say firmly.
"leia, i know you've had alot on your pla-"
"don't talk to me about knowing how much stress I'm under, you don't know what it's like, im fine just the way I am and if you think some talk will change that, you are very wrong, i have that meeting tomorrow, I'll tell you how it goes" i snap hanging up on her.

After I'm done i decide to go out with some friends for the night, i put on a tight black strapless dress that reaches mid thigh, my hair was curled and i put on light make up, we set out and made our first stop at a bar.
"hey girl, freakin out about tomorrow?" ellie asked, she was already buzzed from the drinks she had before we left for here.
"oh yeah, so scared to be sent to another discipline school" i say emphasising the word another.
"what number is this?" caitlin asks.
"four, callum won't last a week there" i say laughing to hide the pain of saying his name.
"really? How tough is it?" dani asks.
"pretty tough, callum won't last, my first time I tried to run away, the second i stuck it out and the third i got kicked out, i cant wait to see him suffer" i say forcing a smirk, to be honest it will hurt to see him suffer but I cant let anyone know that.
"your not over him, are you?" Katy asks, she's always been the best at reading people.
"i am, i swear"
"prove it, go home with that guy tonight"
"guys, I'm not in the mood to throw myself at some stranger"
"fine, I'll dance with him, but nothing else" i give in, i don't want to be with anyone yet, because I'm still not over callum.

I make my way over to the guy and realise why they chose him, he's tall with tanned skin, he has sandy blonde hair and deep blue eyes that I could melt in, he smiles at me snapping Mr back to reality.
"hey, wanna drink?" he asks.
"yeah, sure" I say sweetly, it's better than dancing.
"what school do you go to? I've never seen you before" he asks handing me a vodka.
"macfarlanes, what about you?"
"your rival" he says with a smirk.
"really? Well that can't be good" i say laughing slightly.
"guess we're the rebels"
"you've got no idea" I say shaking my head.
"then tell me"
"it's complicated, but long story short, I'll be sent to a discipline school tomorrow for my behaviour" he chuckles.
"I'm not joking" i say looking into his eyes.
"really?" he asks in shock.
"yep"
"and tonight your out drinking, you really are a bad girl, aren't you?"
"very"
"maybe you need to be punished" he says leaning into me, suddenly I feel very small and vulnerable, i realise were in a corner and my friends won't be able to see me from here.
"i need to get back to my friends" i say pushing him back.
"come on, just a little longer" he says pushing into me.
"i really need to be getting back now" i say pushing him back.
"whats the hurry?" he asks closing the small gap that I now miss.
"get off" I say shoving him hard km the chest, he grabs my hips and keeps me against the wall his eyes turning dark.
"your not going anywhere, you little tease" he says leaning into me.
"get off of me you bastard"
"don't fucking talk to me like that" he snaps, i wince at his tone and shudder as his lips brush against my cheek.
"please" I make a desperate attempt to get him away.
"you want this baby" he says kissing down my jaw, i slap him hard in his face, he stumbles back holding his cheek.
"you little bitch, get back here" he says coming back, i kick between his legs and he falls to the floor holding his area.
"stay the fuck away from me" I spit as I walk away.
"you little fucking tease, if i see you again I'll fucking kill you!" he shouts after me, i run to my friends.
"how did it go?" they ask.
"he's a fucking creep" i growl downing a shot.
"wow, what happened?"
"he tried to force himself onto me, don't worry, I kicked his ass"
"per usual" they giggle, i roll my eyes and we leave to go to a new club, dancing and drinking, i make my way home and fix myself some drink turning on finding nemo.
"hello?" I hear callum answer on the other end of the phone, and I realise I've drunk called him, but I don't back down from anything"
"heyya cals, excited for tomorrow?" I slur happily.
"are you drunk leia? Do you need help?" he asks concerned.
"don't act as if you care, you left me"
"leia, I'm coming over"
"no, don't, don't waste your time on me, i should have died, why did I live? What do I have left?"
"leia, your scaring me, whats going on?"
"they used to get drunk, they made me drink too... And do drugs, i didn't like it, but here i am,drunk and I slapped you, im just like them, aren't i?"
"leia, your nothing like them, your amaz-"
"no, I'm not, I'm a waste!" i shout hanging up.
I go to the bathroom to throw up, i stay there for a while holding back my hair, i fall back with my back against the wall, am I really like this now? When did it all go so bad? I'm such a failure, i cant even live right, no one wants me, no one.

I hold my knees upto my chest and rest my chin on them, tears roll down my cheeks but there are no sobs, just the sound of the tears hitting the floor, all night, just like what I used to, laying on the cold hard ground, wanting to do nothing but die, with no one to care for me.

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