the bad couple

chapter 29

"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault" I hear callum say quietly as he holds my hand tight, i open my eyes and squint at the brightness before letting out a groan in pain.
"leia, your awake!" callum says looking up to me, his eyes are watery and bloodshot.
"eh, it... H-hurts" i choke out, my voice is hoarse.
"ok, one sec, I'll get a doctor" he says jumping up and running out the door, then I remember what happened, callum ignoring me, my dads talk with me and ofcourse him shooting me... And him, dying.
"hello, leia, I'm Dr smold, how are you?" he asks coming in and handing me a glass of water with two pills.
"crap" I choke after downing the pills.
"do you remember what happened?"
"yes, what happened my dad?" I ask, the doctor looks down.
"he's dead, isn't he?" I ask.
"yes" something changes in me, it's like I'm upset that I'm happy my dad is dead, that's both confusing and twisted but after everything, i think Im okay to feel like that.
"do you need some time?" he asked after a few moments of silence.
"no, I'm ok"
"okay, I'll send in your boyfriend" he says getting up.

Callum walks in and rushes to my bed, taking my hand.
"leia, I'm so happy your okay" he says looking into my eyes, i pull my hand away from his grip and a look of hurt
Masks his face.
"dont fucking act as if your so innocent in all this" i snap at him, ignoring his look.
"leia, i know, but I was hurt that you told my mum, i know I was childish to ignore you, especially knowing what day it was, I'm so sorry, can you forgive me?"he practically begs, i have to look away from his eyes.
"callum, i didn't tell your mum anything" i say confused.
"yes you did, you told her that I went to see my dad" he pushes.
"no I didn't, why would I do that?"
"when I got in last night when asked me about it, when I asked her how she knew she said that you told her"
"I didn't tell her callum, i wouldn't do that, and that's still no excuse for what you did to me, you knoe what he's put me through, everything, and you still let me come here to face him alone, because your mum said I told her that you visited your dad, didn't you think to ask me?"
"I know, I was hurt and i wasnt thinking, I'm so sorry I know this is all my fault, please forgive me"
"it isn't your fault, i just can't believe that you would leave me to face him alone, after everything we've been through together, i don't think I can forgive you" I add in the last bit quietly.
"i know, we've been through so much together, we can't give up on eachother just because I'm a stupid dick, can we?" he asks hopefully.
"I'm sorry callum, i trusted you, i fell for you, you know how hard it is for me to let anyone in and you took advantage of that and ruined me, i was just starting to get better and now, it's gone, it's best if we don't see eachother, it's best for both of us" i say slowly, trying my best to make sure he understands it and doesn't get mad.
"leia, i love you, I'm not gonna give up on you just because of one stupid mistake, you can trust me, i already feel like shit over this whole thing, please just one more chance, please" he says with wet eyes.
"I'm sorry callum, please just leave" I say, my voice cracks and i turn away so he doesn't see my tears.
"please" he whispers.
"just go callum" i say firmly, he drops my hand and i listen carefully as his footsteps fade.
"i would never have given up on you so easily leia" he says before leaving, my head falls down to the pillow and i let out all the sobs and tears i was holding in.

Three and a half hours later i had finally dried up and was unable to cry anymore, some of the girls came to see me and just left because visiting hours are up, now I was just laying in the bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about my life, i would be able to get out of here in a few days when they were sure that the only damage done by my dad was the internal bleeding, it was cleared up now though, honestly I couldn't care less, callum, the only person in my life that has ever truly cared about me, ever truly loved me, hurt me like I knew he would, like I let him, whats wrong with me that makes everyone who knows me want to hurt me? Why did I let callum in, I'm the first place, we've hated eachother for years, why would he change over the space of two months, people don't change, their opinions do, this was all doomed before it even started, i should have never trusted him and it's my fault, i cant let anyone in again, i cant trust again, i have to protect myself now, i cant handle anymore heartache, first my parents, then my baby sister, then my foster families, then mark and now callum, it's not fair though, to blame it all on them, it's my fault, who would care about me? I should have known he would never care for me, ever, my dad was right i deserved to die, it would do everyone a favour.