the bad couple

chapter 22

When we arrived at burger king, my voice did hurt slightly from the karaoke but it was totally worth it.
"what do you want?" callum asked slinging an arm around my shoulder casually, usually i would shrug it off or question someone about it, but it felt different with callum, it was comforting.

"erm, i honestly don't know, I'm more of a mcdonalds person" i say casually, he takes his arm away and walks back gasping, dramatically.
"m-mcdonalds?" he stuttered in shock.
"yes, m-mcdonalds" i mocked.
"nah, your getting burger kings best dish, that'll wash the demon of McDonald's away" he says walking infront if me and ordering something, he was careful to make sure I didn't hear what he was ordering for me.
"so, what are you trying to poison me with?" I ask as he sits down beside me, Janet, Amy and max were still ordering there meals.
"you'll see" he says winking.
"so how's your mum feeling about you visiting your dad? Is she still ok with it?" I ask casually.
"don't tell her about it, i told her I just said that out of the heat if the moment, she would flip if she knew I was visiting him" he said quickly getting panicked.
"callum, you can't keep that from her" i say calmly.
"leia, i need to see him but I really don't want to fight with my mum anymore, she just accepted you" he says making a fair point.
"i don't think that's a good idea" I say honestly.
"i know it's not but please don't tell her, don't bring it up at all, ok?"
"ok"
"promise?" he asks seriously.
"really?"
"promise?" he pushes.
"promise" I say finally and we both relax as Janet and the gingers sit down.
"is this yours?" max asks handing me a box with chicken royale printed on it.
"i don't know, is it callum?"
"erm, yes that's it"
"that's the best dish?" I ask him examining the burger.
"its simple but amazing"
"fine" I take a bite and callum watches me with close eyes, i immediately fall in love with it.
"how is it?" callum eagerly asks, once I swallow i answer him.
"it really is alot better than McDonald's, i guess i could live here, but mcdonalds is cheaper"
"hey, quality comes at a price"
"whatever, shut up and let me eat" he chuckles but shuts up leaving me to consider getting with the burger instead of callum.

~two hours later~

Me and callum were lying together on my sofa after hanging out with Amy and max for a while, we were watching woman in black, honestly not scary at all, we had already finished two bags of doritos and a bottle of coke.

"getting scared leia?" callum asked as Daniel Radcliffe explored the creepy grave yard.
"should I be?" I ask casually.
"you know if you are, i am here to hold your hand" he said placing his on top of mine, instantly my breathing and heart rate increased as sparks went off in my hand, that one little bit of contact and i could already be classified as high.
"earth to leia" callum sang.
"what?" I asked in confusion realising that I was so mesmerised by the amazing feeling of his hand on mine to pay attention to what his soft warm lips were saying.
"i asked if you wanted some Fanta"
"erm, no, I'm ok"
"ok, i left the bag in your room, I'll be right back" he said jumping up and running into my bedroom to get the rest of our movie night snacks.
A few minutes later callum still hasn't come back and i start to worry.
"callum, are yo-" that's as far as I get before I'm speechless, callum is sitting on my bed with his head between his hands hung low, and beside him is the little black book, the little black book i wrote and drew in while I lived with my parents, the one I wrote down everything they did to me in, how I felt after it all, what I wished had happened, what I wished my life was like, how I wished they would just kill me.
"you said he raped you once" callum said in a low sad voice, it scared me, he lifted his head and i nearly gasped, his eyes were bloodshot and watery, he was pale and his lips were blue.
"why did you lie?" he asked after I remained silent, still staring into his hurt eyes.
"i-i do-dont... know" i stuttered, i didn't know why, i trust him, I told him he raped me once, why didn't i tell him he raped me every night after my mum went to sleep after I turned twelve? I should have told him, but why didn't i?
"leia, you didn't have to lie, the things in this book... They're disgusting" he said staring at the book in disgust, why did I even keep it? I know what's in it, it is disgusting but the book, it reminded me of the pain that I went through, it reminded me of how strong i am, how I cant let the win by giving up.
"why didn't you tell me he raped you every night? You already told me he raped you once, why didn't you tell me the full truth?"
"how much did you read?" I ask looking straight into his eyes.
"i just skimmed through it, i found it beside the bag and was looking through it, i read bits of most passages"
"on the twelfth of may, he raped me... without a condom, i got pregnant and he didn't want my mum to know he still raped me after she found out about the first time, so he beat me until i bled, he caused me to have a miscarriage when I was twelve" i said looking to the floor, I heard him gasp but I don't dare look up.
"leia, i-" he stops not knowing what to say.
"i understand if you want to leave" I say holding back tears.
"do you want me to?" I just shrug, i didn't but I didn't want to tell him that but I didn't want him to stay if he didn't want to or if he wanted to keep asking me about it.
"I'll stay, come here" he says opening his arms, i waste no time and run to him, he wraps his arms securely around my body and sits down on the bed rocking me, he makes me feel so safe and stable, this is why I can't see my dad without him, without him i feel like nothing, he gives me so much, a reason to smile, be happy, live my life the way I want to and not by anyone else.
"you need to talk to someone about this, leia, this will destroy you" herald sadly into my hair.
"i cant, i don't trust anyone enough"
"how about this?" he asked sitting up, i looked at him as he picked up the book.
"I'll flick through and you tell me to stop, I'll stop and you tell me about what happened that day, in your words now, not then, to see if you have progressed at all, ok?" I thought over it and agreed knowing he would be bale to help, and it would be good to see if i have made any progress at all.
"tell me when" he said as he started flicking through.
"stop" i say randomly.
"twenty second of january, dad picked me up from school and took me to his friends house, they all made fun of me and... drugged me, then they made me try to walk in a straight line, if i failed, they would burn me, i couldn't though, i tr-tried so hard, they burnt me with irons on my back and put salt on it when I was leaving, they said they had fun and wanted to do it again soon" callum read out, he didn't have to, i remembered that day, i still had a few scars on my back.
"in your words now, tell me what happened" callum said not looking up to my eyes.
"my dad took me to his friends house, they called me slut and worthless and mute and stuff, then they got out some drugs, at first they wanted to do them, but my dad had the idea to give me them and since I was only eleven it would have a bigger affect on me, they gave me them and i felt dizzy, heavy and light at once, i had a headache, it really hurt, then they said to walk in a straight line, everytime i failed they would Brin me with irons, they tore off my top and held it on my skin until it stopped sizzling, then they made me try to walk again, i couldn't ever do it, i was drugged" i said staring at the wall, i could still remember them holding me down and forcing the pills down my throat, i was so scared, they didn't care though, no one did.
"leia, that's awful, did his friends get time?" callum asked.
"no, they were always moving"
"did you see them again"
"yeah, sometimes they came to visit"
"did he have other friends?"
"yeah, they usually tortured me for Fun"
"do you want to do another?"
"yes"