Mars Allen had gone through so much to reach the top. Summer programs, endless practicing hours, little shows in bars... Nothing the drummer wasn't ready to do to achieve her only dream, finally be freed from her miserable life. But what if her reun...
He wants me to stop looking at him, but I couldn't. Not after all this time, not after all the things he does for me...
He drove me home when I couldn't, he covered my scars when I was exposed, he comforted me when I was feeling sad...
He said I was mesmerising.
Even after all those years, despite everything I made him go through, despite everything he made me go through, he was still the exact same Tom I fell in love with.
He apologised. So many times. How could I resist all that affection ? How could he ask me to tell him to look away ? Because I didn't want him to.
The past me wanted him too. My brain wanted him too. My mental health couln't bear it otherwise.
But somehow, I didn't want him to.
"I don't want you to look away, Tom." I finally breathed out.
"Good, cause I wasn't going to." He laughed softly and my lips curled into a smile. "I'm going to kiss you now, is that okay ?"
My body stiffened at his words but I knew that I wanted him to kiss me just as bad as he did.
And he leaned in, so carefully.
Breathing, breathing ...
He was close, he was so close and I couldn't feel my legs anymore. I couldn't feel my fingers or the warmth of this house or the presence of people in the room because all I was feeling was him, everywhere.
And he kissed me.
His lips were softer than I remembered, more gentle, like he was scared I would break. Scared I would pull away. But I wouldn't.
Not after everything.
I leaned into the kiss, closing my eyes and feeling Tom's warmth. There were no thoughts in my head, no overthinking, nothing. All I could feel was Tom's arms holding me close, entwining the two of us in a loving embrace and filling our hearts with a desire for each other.
Eventually, we paused to take a breath and I heard Tom quietly laughing to himself.
I rolled my eyes lazily. "What is it ?"
"Didn't know you had the hots for me, Mars Allen." He smirked and I giggled, pushing him away from me.
• ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆ • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆.
I poured the hot black coffee in two separate mugs, a cigarette in my mouth. When the breakfast was finally ready, I grabbed the large plate and brought it the couch where Jasper was sitting down.
"So you don't regret it ? For real ?" He asked for the millionth time. I rolled my eyes, exhaling the smoke.
"I don't fucking regret it, Jasper. Why is it so hard for you to believe ?"
"Cause it's not like you." He shrugged his shoulders. "You always do stuff like this. Give in to the temptation, you just can't handle sexual tension and then you freak out about it potentially turning into somthing serious. The fact that you're not overthinking this freaks ME out."
"How does it freak YOU out ?" I laughed. "I'm the one who's supposed to be scared of this but, for some reason, I'm not. He changed, Jas."
"Yeah, I know, I know. You just keep saying that." He sighed, sipping from his coffee. "Are you sure about this ?"
"I don't know..." I bit my lip. "I really like him, Jasper. It's kind of scary but I've been in love with him before. Some feelings just don't completely go away. When I saw him for the first time, all I felt was sadness and nostalgia about what happened five years ago. But he has been so affectionate and sweet, I just... I don't know."
"Have you two talked since that night ?"
"No." I pursed my lips.
"It's been almost a week, it's Saturday." He furrowed his eyebrows. "How did none of you reach out to the other ?"
"What would I say to him ? What do people say in these situations ?"
"Don't you want to hang out with him ?"
"Of course, I do. It's just..." I crashed my cigarette in the ashtray. "I don't know-"
A bing interrupted my sentence and I grabbed my phone.
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I laughed. "Shit, look. Bill texted me. That's cool."
"Yeah, it is." Jasper grinned. "Soo... You're going to say yes ?"
"Of course." I shrugged my shoulders. "I love Bill. But I just hope he doesn't bring up what happened in the club before we left."
"I don't think he will."
"Hopefully not." I put my phone down. "So what are doing tonight ?"
A vicious smile drew on his lips. "I'm going to watch Cleo."
"Oh yeah, I saw the event." I nodded. "I don't really like the club she's doing her show at. Because -"
"Yeah, I know. Alexis will be there." He frowned.
"Did you know they were going to play at the twins' birthday ? Tom told me they had another event so they couldn't play that day."
"Did you tell him you ghosted Alexis ?"
"Yeah." I looked down in shame. "And, when he asked why, I explained it to him. I just stopped talking to everyone."
"Yeah, I get it." He nodded. "But you're better now, you should probably contact them or something."
"I should. But I'm scared that Alexis hates me now."
"If you tell them the truth, they'll understand."
I pursed my lips with a nod. "Yeah, maybe..."
Alexis was a dear friend of mine and, after that year, I regretted ghosting everyone, especially them. I really wished that I could go back and change what I did and who I was that year.
Now, five years passed and I just couldn't contact them like nothing happened. They had a life and I had mine. I just hoped I could see them again and, maybe, become friends again. Like before.
