Surrender -Tom kaulitz-

39.

Tom's POV

I sat down heavily on the chair. "Fuck, it's all my fault. I didn't know she was going to do that. I shouldn't have-"

"You probably shouldn't have talked to Chrissy like that. But the fight with Mars, it's not your fault." Bill squeezed my hand comfortingly.

"I can't imagine how she feels now. You all saw those scars and the blood and..." I brushed a hand through my hair. "She must be feeling like shit."

"Yeah, that was kind of shocking..." Georg sighed. "But we shouldn't shame her for it, she's feeling bad enough about the fact that we saw that, we should at least pretend it's okay."

"We need to help her though, we can't ignore that, right ?" Gustav asked.

"No, I think we should just be there for her. I'm done trying to save Mars from herself, we just end up hurting her more." Bill pursed his lips. "She's grown. She has a job and she has a safe place to live, I think her only issues now are her mental health ones. And that's not something any of us should interfiere with."

"Yeah, I agree." I gulped down my beer, standing up. "I'll just go check on her. You guys are still going to be here ?"

"Yeah, we'll leave in like thirty minutes or something." Gustav explained and I nodded.

"Alright, I'll pay for Mars's beer. You guys just enjoy your party, we'll join you soon." I waved at the group and zigzagged my way out of the bar. Mars was right there, in her car in the middle of the parking lot. I made my way in its direction and she unlocked the car when she saw me.

I sat in the passenger's seat with a grin.

"I'm alright, Tom. I promise." She turned to me with a small smile.

"Okay." I acquiesced. "Look what I have here." I wiggled my eyebrows, pulling a joint from my pocket and shaking it in her face.

"Weed ?! Seriously ?" She laughed. "God, you're still the same nineteen year old from five years ago."

"Come on, don't tell me you don't want to ?" I snickered, placing the spliff between my lips and lighting it up.

"Ugh, give me that." She snatched it out of my mouth and inhaled deeply. I watched her smoke with amused eyes.

"Who's the kid now, huh ?"

"Fuck off." She giggled, handing me the joint. I took it from her while she lit herself a cigarette. "So what are you going to do about the situation with Chrissy ?"

I threw my head back, exhaling the smoke. "I don't give two fucks about Chrissy. We hooked up more than we talked. I don't even remember her fucking last name. And, now, she shows up to my birthday and tries to argue with me. I don't fucking care about her."

"But I kind of felt bad for her, you know ? Maybe she liked you or something. Or she wanted to be your girlfriend..."

"Yeah, I don't want that. I'm tired of pretending. I haven't had feeling for anyone since... for a long time and I don't want to get in a relationship just because."

"Yeah, I get it." She inhaled from the joint I handed her. "Maybe you should learn to talk to girls. You know... tell them you don't want a relationship instead of leading them on like that. Like you did with Chrissy."

"Yeah, maybe I should." I looked at her with a smirk. "But where's the fun in that ?"

She grimaced, punching me playfully. "You're such an asshole."

"You punched her pretty good earlier, didn't you ?"

She laughed. "Yeah, and I'm this close to punching you now."