SURVIVOR - Palau

Day 38 - Rites of Passage

BENNETT'S POINT OF VIEW:

The journey back to camp was long.

It should have been relieving and refreshing being in the final four, but it wasn't. I had this burning feeling of regret and sadness.

At the last Tribal Council, Kate was voted off and she left me a clear message that she was extremely disappointed in me.

I feel disappointed in myself also, that I couldn't have handled that situation better, or that I could have been more honest with Kate. It is a horrible feeling, that I am never going to forget.

But I need to clear my mind, and focus on the next two days.

The final Tribal Council is tomorrow night, and I need to focus everything I have on surviving past then.

This is my dream! This is everything I have worked for in this game. To get to the end and win it all! I didn't come for second best, I came for the win and I am not stopping until I get it.

The first thing I wanted to do when I got to camp was apologize to Erika. I feel bad, because Kate was her number one best friend since near the start of the game

I go to approach her, but she doesn't want to talk to me.

"Erika..." I say, as we sit across each other at the camp fire. She simply gets up and lays down in the shower.

"Erika" I say following her, standing at the foot of the shelter trying to get her attention

"Please leave me alone, Bennett" Erika says quietly

"I just wanna talk" I say softly

"There is nothing to talk about. I'm going to sleep" Erika says calmly.

I look at Mora who stands behind me.

Mora scoffs at Erika as she kicks a log into the engulfing camp fire.

"What's up her ass?" Mora whispers to me

"Be nice. Her best friend did just get voted out" I tell her

"Yeah, well I've lost friends to! You don't see me crying" Mora shrugs

"Well, this is different. Erika actually has a heart" I laugh. I assumed Mora would laugh along with me, but she stares at me blankly

"Nice one" Mora smiles

I try to understand this chick, but I don't!

She just likes to hear the sound of her own voice and the reflection of her own face, I think.

The more days I aligned with Mora, the mystery of her grew larger and larger.

She actually is a fairly good player, she just doesn't have the social skills to back it up

She could easily take this game to the end and win it, if she wasn't Mora.

I look back at Erika who I am pretty sure is now asleep. I really want to apologize, but she just won't open up to me

ERIKA'S POINT OF VIEW:

Of course I won't open up to Bennett! He is a two-faced liar, that I am one-hundred percent done with!

I can wait for tomorrow night, where I will most likely be going home. Get away from all these liars and meet up with people I respect.

I honestly believed Harrison would vote with us, and I am awfully disappointed that he didn't. I have no allegiance to him, or anyone else for that matter.

I can wait to be on the jury and tell them this burning, horrible feeling I am currently experiencing

I don't want to give up, but I don't feel like putting in the required effort. I know I must look selfish, there are six people sitting on a jury, each dying to be in my position. I hate myself for feeling like this, but I have nothing left in the tank. Kate was my rock, I think I wanted to see her win more then myself, and that is why I so desperately wanted to get across the line with her.