Wednesday and Enid (Wenclair)

Regrets For No Reason.

*Wednesdays POV*

  As I awake I'm greeted with the bright sunlight shining in my face, once more reminded of a new dreadful day I have to endure.

I glance over at Enid who was asleep, as memories flood in my brain. Oh no. No, no, no. Shit.
My blood drains from my face as I slowly fill up with guilt.

I wasn't in the proper state of mind yesterday, what overcame me to commit such a felony.
I have to get out of here. I think to myself as I slowly get up from my bed, put on proper clothes and get the hell out of that room.

I don't know how to love, I can't love. "You don't deserve her." A voice sounded in the back of my head. It wasn't mine, I don't know where it came from as I've never had self loathing for myself since Bianca. But with Bianca I was upset because of a silly mistake that I could've so easily escaped.

Actually, I have had this feeling before. It just wasn't this strong. It started 3 days ago, and it won't go away.

Everyday I feel it getting heavier, always a voice in the back of my mind telling me I can't do it. It's like a kit full of emotions, if someone does something so slight that I dislike it breaks open and makes me so angered and sad.

"Your not worth it." There it is again.
I feel my body build up rage as I walk, so angrily down the hallway.
Do I know where I'm going? No. I just need to leave.
I've never felt this much emotion in one time, So much self hatred.

I make my way down before being called by Yoko. "Hey Wednesday, hows your head?"
How's my head? Not even I know that.

I stop in my tracks to face her and pause to think if I can actually trust her with anything. Yoko seems trustworthy, well Enid sure seems to think. But after everything, like with Jason. I don't want to trust anyone or make myself that vulnerable again even if they "seem trustworthy."

"I'm fine." I say before slowly walking back. Everything just making me feel more anger, people stopping to talk to me, acting like they care. I'm normally exceedingly good at viewing other peoples emotions, but during that conversation I had no idea or even processed Yokos face or emotions. I have no idea what's going on with me.

I make my way to the tree line before walking back into the deep woods, my breathe ragged and fast as I make my way to a clearing. I haven't seen this place before.

There was a flowing river and a broken bridge over it. It seemed to maybe be abandoned, I've never really found nature to be pleasing. But the sound of the water overlapping down the stream made me calm down. There was still a nagging feel. A sadness that wouldn't go away. But I ignored it, sat down, and stayed there for a while.

After a few minutes I started to rethink everything that happened, rethink my emotions or choices and why I had made or had them. Why did I feel so angry in the first place? Why was I so upset.
I know I always hated the way my mother and father had shown their love for one another. I know I hated love. But I thought I loved Enid. I did love Enid. I do Love Enid.
So why was I so eager to get out? I don't have an answer for one question I've asked. I don't understand.

Why don't I understand.

*Enids POV*

  "Don't go Wednesday, Please!" I yelled as I shook her lifeless body, the stab wound I created was deep and bloodied. How could I do this?

I hear running footsteps fall behind me, quickly stop as I turn to face them, hot tears welded in my eyes as I feel them fall.
"How could you?" Yoko yells as the others she was with had a fairly shocked yet scared face as if I was a rabid animal.

I turned back to the bloodied girl as I dropped my head in her chest, and sobbed.
-

My eyes quickly flash open as I stood up, out of breathe and shaken as I slowly realize it was just a dream.

That's the first, I've never had a dream where I was the monster. I shrugged it off before turning my head to look at Wednesdays bed, gone.
She must've gone to class early. I thought as I jumped out of bed, changed my clothes and Made my way down the quad. In the distance I can see Yoko with a group of kids.

Jeez seeing her after my dream makes me feel weird.
"Hii Enid!" She called out while running to be with her hands out, to which I accept the hug invitation and hug her back. Almost instantly I get the scent of deer blood spill off her as I exit the hug. "Hey have you seen Wednesday?" I ask, hoping I'll get a "oh she went to class" or something.

"Yea, she kind of seemed out of it though." She answers. That's really not what I wanted to hear.
"How so?" I ask back. "She Just seemed..like." She looked down in thought before continuing. "Really angry. I talked to her for a sec before she stormed off to god knows where." Yoko finishes.

Oh no. I freaked her out. I made her uncomfortable. What do I do. "Youu..okay?" Yoko says in a serious voice while waving her hand infront of my face. "I'm.. im Fine, see you Yoko." I say, walking off and waving her goodbye.

I got to my first class in which me and Wednesday had together and sat behind her with Yoko. She wasn't there, what was I expecting? Why would I think Wednesday of all people wouldn't get angry for pushing her boundaries. I mean she was the one who kissed me first. I reassure myself, giving me some hope.
Well then where the hell did she go and why is she angry. "Enid." A voice calls out from aside me causing me to turn and look at Yoko.

Her eyes filled with empathy as she stared directly into mine, which she could tell, was filled with fear.

"What's going on?" She asks in a soft, caring voice, making my bite my lip hard. "What's going on with you and Wednesday." She says once more, making me widen my eyes.
How does she know? Did I make it that obvious? I sigh before explaining, and telling her everything.

"Me and Wednesday were .. I- We were doing a girls night out and I...kissed her. Well no she kissed me first, it surprised me but then I kissed her back." As I continue, Yokos eyes widen when heard that we kissed.

"The next day I woke up and she was gone, and you said she was angry so I-" Yoko interrupts. "Wait a minute, wait a minute.. you guys, kissed!?" She asks as I nod.

Yoko sighs before continuing. "Enid ... Wednesday took something yesterday night. It was to help her "mental health" or something. though that parts just a rumor, she really did take something."

Her words cut right into my heart as I place my hand over my mouth.
"Um..but don't worry, if she was mad she was probably mad at herself, not you." Yoko says, trying to lighten the mood as it only makes it darker.

Wednesday only kissed me because she was fucking high? The thought repeated in my head over and over as I feel tears forming and wasting no time to fall. They stream down my cheeks and stopping on my hand. My head lowers as I feel Yokos arms wrap around me, her head on top of mine.

"Is everything alright." A voice calls out a few minutes later, just making me more angrier, nothing is alright, If I saw Wednesday right now I'd punch her. I sigh as my anger leaves my body.

I didn't look up until I heard Yoko gasp. My eyes peeled out as I leaned up. Face to face with Wednesday right infront of us.

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1435 Words

To properly title what Wednesday is going through is a mental illness she developed that I won't Expose to you until I'm ready to.

I've suffered from it first hand so I'm writing down my experiences with it, Shown through Wednesday.

Thanks for reading!!